Cradled in Hopeનમૂનો

For months after Bridget was born, I wouldn’t look at my body when undressing for the shower. Feelings of failure and shame flooded my heart every time I glanced at my naked frame. I looked away, hating my body for what it did to her. I had trusted my body to protect, nurture, and grow her, but it failed me—and even worse, it failed her. Maybe you feel this way too?
What do you do when the death of your baby has caused you to harbor anger and bitterness toward your body? What happens when the lines blur between body and self, and you begin to resent not just your body, but yourself?
Somehow, we wrongly assume that if our body couldn’t sustain life, then we must not be good enough to be a mother. We accept the lie that our miscarriage or stillbirth reflects something about our motherhood. So instead of feeling as if your body failed your baby, you feel as though you failed your baby.
This is a lie from the enemy. I know that if there was something you could have done to save your baby, you would have. You did not cause your baby to die. And most likely, you could not have prevented it either. You did everything within your power to keep your baby safe. You are a good mom!
Can you give yourself grace for not knowing what you didn’t know? Can you recognize that there were things outside of your control that you couldn’t change? Maybe you don’t struggle with body resentment, but perhaps there’s a moment in your pregnancy that keeps haunting you.
The day you noticed decreased movement, but didn’t go to the hospital right away. It could be the food you ate, the medicine you took, the sickness you had, the long car ride you went on, or the strenuous activity you did. When you think of it, your heart sinks to your stomach: Did I cause this? Could I have done something to prevent it?
Maybe you beat yourself up over decisions you made—or didn’t make—at the time of your baby’s birth. Perhaps you chose not to have family members or siblings come and hold your baby, and now you wish you had. Or maybe you turned down the offer to have professional photography taken of your stillborn baby. It felt too hard at the time, but now you would do anything to have pictures of your sweet baby’s face.
It’s painful to wish you had made different decisions. The playback loop we run in our minds of all the what-ifs and could-have-beens can be agonizing. The enemy wants to keep us focused on the past and living in a perpetual state of shame and self-blame. We need to get our minds out of this loop to accept what has happened—as awful and painful as it was—and move forward focused on the hope-filled future God has for us.
Acceptance doesn’t mean we like what happened, but it keeps us from getting stuck in the trauma of the past. Remember, there is now no condemnation in Christ (Romans 8:1). By His mercy, we can extend grace to our bodies—and to ourselves—even if we still carry the weight of self-blame, despite knowing we could not have prevented our baby’s death. In doing so, we will rightly see our bodies for what they are: a temple of the Most High God.
Closing Question/Action Step: Do you blame your body for your baby’s death or struggle to forgive yourself for the decisions you made? Ask Jesus to help you give yourself grace.
About this Plan

This seven-day devotional walks with grieving mothers through the heartbreak of pregnancy loss and infant loss, offering Scripture, honest stories, and Gospel-centered hope. Each day invites you to grieve, draw near to Jesus, and reflect on a mother’s love, faith in God’s promises, and the hope of being reunited with your baby. Let Jesus heal your broken heart as He cradles your baby in Heaven.
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