Here I Am, Lord: Devotions from Time of Grace : Day 2
I Lost My Temper Again
I don’t mean to do it. Really, I don’t. Lord, I know what you say in your Word: “Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil” (Psalm 37:8). But I have a boiling point, and it seems as if the people in my life just keep provoking me.
Don’t they see how hard I’m trying to keep everything together? Can’t they see the points I’m trying to make? Don’t they realize I can’t stand being laughed at?
I guess I’m just making excuses. I know I hurt people when I get angry. I feel so righteous at first. I love the surge of adrenaline, the wildness of letting go. I think that if I let the anger come out of me, then it won’t stay bottled up inside. But I hurt people, and I know I hurt you too.
I’m sorry, Lord; please forgive me. Help me have the humbleness and grace also to ask for forgiveness from the people who had to bear the brunt of my tirade. Please send a special measure of your Spirit and replace my anger with inner peace. Help me listen more and shout less. Help me trust other people more and get over some of my terrible insecurities. Help me trust that you will make all things right in the end. You are good to me, and your mercy endures forever.