I Should Be Over This: When the Storm Passes but You're Still Spinningনমুনা

Maybe you've even heard others tell you, "You really should be over this by now." But who says? Where did this timeline come from? Certainly not from God. In fact, Psalm 34:18 (NIV) says,“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

He isn’t holding a timeline, he’s holding your broken heart.

When we feel impatient or uncomfortable with the enduring pain and life still feels far from normal, that’s when our inner-critic’s timeline comes out. Yet, that’s when we need even more compassion and grace for ourselves.

Like we talked about yesterday, the world is going on as usual, but we aren't. With compassion, we become realistic about our capacity and stop pretending we can take on more than we really can. Easier said than done, I know.

Some of us try to distract ourselves out of our disorientation only to make ourselves dizzier when we realize we don’t have enough sustainable energy yet. And some of us just never considered the toll that enduring has taken on us already. Life is still anything but normal.

When I had shoulder surgery, the surgical procedure was the main deal. However, I was inadequately prepared for the toilsome recovery that came after. For weeks I was in an immobilizing sling, unable to drive or wash my own hair. I was limited to the use of one hand. Then, the painful sessions of physical therapy began. Because I only "geared up" for the surgery and had underestimated the multiple layers of the healing process, I was left utterly disoriented.

I give you full permission right now to stop pretending you're fine if you're not. There’s no prize for how fast you can “get over this."

One remedy to put this into practice is to radically adjust our expectations and accept our depleted capacity while holding on to God’s promises.

We make this real by identifying practical everyday ways of self-care that help us get through seasons of free-floating and spinning.

Practical Self-Care Ideas:

I find incorporating small, practical everyday things add up to provide a significant impact. For example, I take the pressure off cooking. I cancel nonessential appointments. I pray simple phrases. I stay in the shower twice as long (it's where I do my best thinking and crying.) I journal... if I have the energy. I rework my work responsibilities. I accept help from anyone who offers and I ask for help if no one does. I hold the upkeep of my house to a lower standard. I ask my husband to hold me. I call a trusted friend and vent. I simplify my to-do list to the bare minimum. I decline invitations I know will drain me. I don't return every text, email, or voicemail. As an introvert, I find ways to be by myself every day.

What can you do? Make your own list and keep adding to it.

As you keep putting one foot in front of the other, taking one day at a time (or even one hour at a time), anchor into the truth that Jesus is your living hope, the anchor of your soul (1 Peter 1:3, Hebrews 6:19, 20).

And as hard as it is to do, make every effort to believe the truth of these words as you slowly navigate your “new normal”: "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." (2 Corinthians 4:8-9, NIV)

Prayer

Dear Jesus, thank you for reminding me that it’s normal to feel so outside of “normal” and that I can lean on you as my anchor of hope. Amen.

Remember, you're still outside of "normal" because you're still healing. That's okay. We’ll learn more about how to slow the spinning and ground ourselves more tomorrow.