Biblical MarriageНамуна

Unity in Marriage

When I first got married at 20 years old, I thought unity in marriage would come naturally. We loved each other, we shared a home, and eventually, we had children. Surely love would be enough to carry us through. But I quickly learned that love without God at the center is not enough to sustain unity.

As life grew busier with military service, careers, and family responsibilities, our communication broke down. We were under the same roof, but our hearts and priorities were not aligned. Ultimately, that marriage ended because we never built true unity—nor did we invite God to be the foundation of our relationship.

Years later, when I met my wife Shannon, I chose a different path. Instead of following the world’s blueprint for relationships, we chose God’s. We took time to truly know one another, to align ourselves under His Word, and to build on a foundation of prayer, humility, and honesty. What we discovered is that real unity doesn’t come from our own strength—it comes from surrendering to God daily and allowing Him to knit our hearts together.

Unity in marriage is more than living under the same roof. It’s aligning visions, priorities, and hearts under God’s design. Becoming “one flesh” is not a one-time vow; it’s a daily choice to walk in step with God and with each other.

Key aspects of biblical unity in marriage

● Spiritual unity: This involves aligning the marriage with God's purpose and prioritizing a shared commitment to Christ. Ephesians 5:31-32 emphasizes the profound mystery of marriage reflecting Christ and the Church.

● Emotional and relational unity: Husbands and wives are to love, respect, and understand each other, bearing each other's burdens and offering forgiveness, according to Ephesians 5:33 (NIV).

● Physical unity: This refers to the "one flesh" union, where spouses have mutual authority over each other's bodies in the context of the marital relationship.

Examples of failing at unity in marriage

● Selfishness: Prioritizing one's own desires and interests over the well-being of the spouse and the relationship can hinder true unity.

● Lack of communication: Inability or unwillingness to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts can create distance and division.

● Unfaithfulness or betrayal: Acts like adultery or other forms of infidelity directly violate the sacred covenant of marriage and cause deep wounds.

● Controlling behavior or dominance: When one spouse attempts to control the other or make all decisions unilaterally, it undermines the principle of equal partnership in marriage.

● Not placing God first: When either spouse prioritizes other things, like work or hobbies, over God and their marriage, it can lead to a weakening of the foundation of unity.

● Disregarding or disrespecting the spouse's uniqueness: While unity implies a coming together, it doesn't mean erasing individual identities. Failing to value and respect the unique qualities and preferences of the spouse can cause resentment and hinder intimacy.

Reflection:

Marriage is a divine covenant where two lives become one. Unity is not just physical but emotional and spiritual, rooted in God’s design.

Application:

How can you strengthen the unity between you and your spouse this week?