The Promised LandНамуна

Have you ever thought you’ve forgiven someone, only for your heart to pound and the anger to resurface when you lay eyes on them or hear their name? Or maybe you’ve spent time with someone you “forgave” and are close with, but caught yourself throwing in a few jabs disguised as jokes.

It is in our nature to feel this way when someone has wronged us, and it’s what the world encourages us to do. Someone hurt you? Hurt them back! Someone made a mistake? Hold it over their head!

Moses faced the temptation to respond this way, too. He was understandably angry with Aaron for building an idol for the people to worship. Aaron made a huge mistake that he needed to repent for, but Moses also needed to forgive Aaron and live out the very commands of God that he taught the people: commands such as, “Do not nurse hatred in your heart for any of your relatives,” and “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against a fellow Israelite” (Leviticus 19:17-18).

That same passage also says, “Confront people directly so you will not be held guilty for their sin.” Sometimes God works through those around us to reveal our sin. We don’t tend to respond well when someone exposes our sin of unforgiveness because it feels better (at least temporarily) when others approve of our grudges, vent alongside us, and encourage us to pursue revenge. We want them to throw fuel on our bonfires of bitterness and offense.

We don’t usually go searching for someone who will point out if our actions or words don’t align with God’s commands. It is a sign of spiritual maturity, however, to surround yourself with people who will humbly and boldly point out sin that you are ignoring or don’t see. When someone approaches you with this posture of loving accountability, it is possible to respond with gratitude, repentance, and true forgiveness rather than defensiveness.

Holding on to a grudge has countless harmful effects on your mental and physical health, possibly even shortening your lifespan. Unforgiveness is a prison, but with God’s help, it’s a prison from which you can escape. Truly forgiving someone as God has forgiven you, whether or not they are repentant, sets you free to experience the fullness of God’s love, joy, and peace. How can you live in the freedom of forgiveness today?