Finding Hope When Pregnancy Loss or Postnatal Challenges Are ExpectedНамуна

As you journey through this difficult pregnancy knowing that your sweet baby may pass away shortly before or after birth or may have a congenital condition that will bring lifelong challenges, I imagine you’re filled with a multitude of emotions. Perhaps anger, sadness, grief, love, peace, anxiety, fear, acceptance, or resentment. Perhaps you’re asking: Why me? Is God punishing me? Isn’t God supposed to be good and kind? How could a good God allow this injustice?

The prophet Habakkuk could relate. He saw a lot of injustice in Judah and cried out angrily to God questioning why He didn’t do anything to stop the evildoers in the land.

How long, Lord, must I call for help,
but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!”
but you do not save? (Hab. 1:2).

In his anger and confusion, instead of turning away from God, Habakkuk wrestled with Him by bringing his complaint, and God answered by sharing an unexpected plan—He was going to allow the Babylonians to attack Judah and take the people into captivity.

Habakkuk was confused with this plan, and he could have chosen to remain angry, but over time his attitude began to change. While God can more than handle our complaints, we don’t want to stay in a state of anger. If we couple our questions with prayer and scripture, we should find ourselves moving towards God with a growing respect and love that comes with recognizing the truth of His character. We see Habakkuk make this shift in chapter 1 verses 12 and 13. He still doesn’t understand, but now he remembers who God is and that God is his God. The wrestler becomes the embracer:

Lord, are you not from everlasting?
My God, my Holy One, you will never die.
You, Lord, have appointed them to execute judgment;
you, my Rock, have ordained them to punish.
Your eyes are too pure to look on evil;
you cannot tolerate wrongdoing.
Why then do you tolerate the treacherous?
Why are you silent while the wicked
swallow up those more righteous than themselves?

In the chapter that follows, Habakkuk describes the terrible deeds of the Babylonians, and by the end of the book, the situation remains unchanged. But Habakkuk has. His faith has deepened, his love for the Lord has grown, his heart is filled with joy. He is a changed man. Though it will be 70 long years before his people return from captivity, Habakkuk rests secure with his God.

Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior. (Hab. 3:17-18)

As you walk the path of a difficult pregnancy riddled with questions, I encourage you—like Habakkuk—to share your real thoughts and feelings with the Lord, even those emotions that feel too big or too raw. God knows what you’re feeling, and those emotions point to the areas that need healing and restoration from the Lord. Walk with the Lord through your pain and confusion, feed your heart and mind with His Word, and continue to draw near to Him even though questions abound. I pray that you will see that He is with you, just as loving, faithful, strong, and good as ever.

The final verse in Habakkuk says:

The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights. (Hab. 3:19a)

Remember, when the Lord is your strength, He will enable you to scale the sheer cliffs and narrow passes that would otherwise be impossible. You may not have chosen to walk this difficult path, and you may feel weak and ill-equipped to endure, but by His strength, He will guide you through.

Are you wrestling with the Lord or embracing Him? How can you move towards His embrace?

What is one emotion that you feel today and what need does it reveal?

Prayer:

Dear Jesus, thank you that I can trust You with my true thoughts and emotions, and thank you that You have good plans for my life even if I can’t see them today. Lord, please help me to seek You with all my heart and find You even though I’m filled with so many conflicting emotions. Thank you that Your Word says that You will listen to me when I call on You. Amen.