Helping Your Kids Know God's Good DesignНамуна

Talk About Sex Outside of Marriage

We have already discussed the importance of grounding our children in a biblical understanding of God’s good design for sex and marriage. However, we can’t stop the conversation there. As humans, we are fallen people living in a fallen world. This means much of what our children encounter in the world around them, and even within their own hearts, will not align with God’s good design—so it is important to have conversations with our children about sexual sin.

The New Testament Greek word for sin is hamartia, meaning to miss the mark. This wording is simple enough to explain to your child; sin is missing the mark. Explain how God’s perfect law is the mark that all humans should seek to hit. When we miss it, that is called sin. You can then take your child to Romans 3:23, which reads, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (ESV). Discuss how this verse reveals that all humans have missed the mark. We’ve all failed to live up to God’s perfect standard, and this sin separates us from God. Then read Romans 3:24: “[You] are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus” (ESV). Discuss how God sent Jesus to hit the mark for us. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live, died on the cross in our place, and rose again to new life (1 Corinthians 15:3-5). Now anyone who turns from their sin and trusts in Jesus is forgiven of their sin and reconciled to God (2 Corinthians 5:17-19).

You can then turn the conversation to sexual sin. Explain that one of the ways humans miss the mark is by not keeping sex within the covenant of marriage. Sometimes people choose to have sex with someone they are not married to. You can take your child to Hebrews 13:4: “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (ESV). Discuss how God has made clear that sex is designed for marriage, and that taking sex outside of marriage is a sin that separates us from God. It is also important to explain that, just like all other sins, taking the good gift of sex outside of marriage is a sin that Jesus died for. Anyone who turns from that sin and trusts in Jesus can be forgiven.

Introducing our children to the concept of sexual sin need not be complicated or overwhelming. When we help them understand the reality of the gospel—that we are sinful and Jesus died and rose to new life to redeem us—we lay the foundation for helping them understand both the goodness of God’s design and his plan of redemption.