Healing Family Relationships: Finding Healing Through ForgivenessНамуна

If anger and bitterness were just light switches we could "turn off" at will, forgiveness would be an easy choice to make. Forgiveness is an intentional process where, through the power and grace of God, He sets us free from bitterness, anger, and hatred—which prepares us for the possibility of reconciliation. Without first seeking His help, we cannot truly forgive those who have wronged us.

Think of a specific family member with whom you have had conflict. Now imagine an old-fashioned scale, the type of scale that balances two platforms. While this may not be a pleasant exercise, make a pile on one side of the scale of all the things the person has done to wound you. On the other side of the scale, make a pile of all the sins you have ever committed against God. Which side is heavier? To which side does the scale tip?

The point here is not to minimize the wounds you have received from your family. For some of us, those wounds are serious and grievous. However, the sins committed against us are greatly outweighed by the sins we have committed against God. In this simple verse in Colossians, God directs our attention to His forgiveness of our sins, which was made possible through the death of His Son on the cross. And how should we respond to this forgiveness? God calls us to follow His example and forgive those who have sinned against us. We are called to forgive because God forgave us first!

The first step toward healing is making the choice to forgive. In prayer, ask the Lord to bring to your mind specific things your family member has done or said over the years which have hurt you. When your list is complete, choose through prayer to forgive him or her for each individual item. When you are done, discard the list.

Reflection Question: What may be holding you back from choosing to take the first step of forgiveness toward a family member who has hurt you?