Freedom for Angry Moms: 5 Days of Biblical EncouragementНамуна

God hears and He answers

The blue skies of Colorado offered an invitation to go for a long walk, and so my friend and I, eager to stretch our legs after a long day of sitting in meetings, headed out to a nearby coffee shop. About five minutes in, we realized our error. Yes, the mountains against the bright skies seemed warm and radiant, but the temperatures were deceptively low, and the wind whipped through our thin layers of clothing until our skin stung with pain. We all but ran to the front door of the coffeehouse and stood inside, momentarily stunned as we tried to recover from the cold. These California girls didn’t know that the sun could shine so brightly yet withhold its warmth.

Bright doesn’t always mean what we think it does. Not in this world. I feel like this in my home sometimes. The morning starts off with happy sounds—coffee brewing, toddlers cooing, and giggles echoing faintly down the hallway. But all it takes is one mean word, one request ignored, or even a simple missing sock for the seemingly rosy moment to wilt. It took time to discover, but as I searched the Bible, the key to joy in any circumstance was evident. I learned that turning to Him was the way to become “radiant with joy,” even when the attitudes of my kids were like dark clouds swirling around our home.

It became a practice, not an occasional whim, to look “to Him for help.” My natural reaction when my kids are crying over their hairstyle or stirring up drama with their siblings is not to stop and pray. My flesh reacts easily, and I start my eye roll or stomp my feet in frustration. I’ve been known to say something dismissive about their emotional outbursts. Every time I give in, the “shadow of shame” darkens my face. No doubt about it. Matching my child’s unreasonable outbursts with my own is an unreasonable reaction for a Spirit-filled mom. Guilt follows angry reactions; that is, unless we have become so hardened that we feel nothing at all. God doesn’t hide solutions from us. Prioritize time with Him and give Him your fears, needs, and frustrations, and yes, your triggers!

God will turn to you and free you from the storm clouds of parenting. When I looked to the sun that day in the Rocky Mountains, I did not receive the warmth that I needed. But with the Lord, we always come away radiant when we turn our faces, and our triggered hearts, to Him.

Lord, I know that even when I fail and give in to my triggers, You still offer me Your forgiveness and grace. I do not want to keep walking into the darkness of my guilt. Help me take my thoughts under control so that I can learn to look to You in any situation and receive your radiant joy. I cast off the cloak of shame I have been feeling, and I know You will work in my heart today to become calm and kind, even when I am triggered toward anger. In Jesus’ name, amen.

PUT IT INTO PRACTICE

Do you have a hard time stopping in the middle of your triggered emotions to pause and ask God to help you have a gentle response? Practice outside of conflict. Today, each time you make a meal, stop doing what you are doing and thank God for His help in keeping you calm and kind. As we continue to practice this godly habit, it will be automatic when times are not as peaceful.

This plan is adapted from UnTriggered: 60 Days of Transformation for Moms Who Struggle with Anger by Amber Lia. You can order a copy of her book here.