Connecting With the Heart of Your ChildНамуна

Have you ever met a person who is relationally-impaired? I am referring to a person who is not able to develop or maintain intimate personal relationships. I once knew a man who was married four times over the course of his lifetime and then lived with another woman before he passed away at the age of 90 years old.

This man was my father-in-law. We once sent my father-in-law a book on attachment by Mary Ainsworth. Rob can remember having breakfast with his dad and talking with him about how the loss of his mother had affected his life. While his dad quickly changed the subject, a tear immediately rolled down his cheek. At the age of 80, the heartache caused by the absence of a mother he had never known could not be hidden despite his best efforts.

Why is this so important for us to understand as moms today? Because attachment is what we must begin with, in order to have life-long, heart-connected, discipleship relationships with our kids. Attachment is simply the psychological term for the biblical principle of heart connection (Malachi 4:6 and Luke 1:17).

Heart connection is what we are building right away when we first hold our babies, cuddle them to sleep, and feed them. God intentionally created these intimate ways of caring for our children. Our children lie across our bosoms as we give them life, and the heart connection we make with them carries them throughout their lives. When we build deep heart-connected relationships with our children, we are then in the best position to help them build a heart-connected relationship with their Heavenly Father.

Reflection Question: What specific practices help you build heart connection with your child, and how can you be more intentional about these attachment-building moments?