Thrive: Discovering Joy in the Trenches of Military LifeНамуна

Don’t Wait for the Friend, Be One!
Written by: Rachel Yorgey

Every day, I pass by a candle with the words, "I wish you lived next door." It was a gift from one of my dearest friends—the one I met when our families were stationed in Italy. Oh, how I wish she did live next door—or at least in the same time zone.

Memories come rushing back. I remember sitting in her home while our kids ran around, making messes. I remember eating breakfast—and then lunch—she made for me because when my husband was gone, I wasn't always taking care of myself the way I should have. Italy was beautiful, a dream duty station in many ways, but military life also brought hard days.

I remember it clearly—26 weeks pregnant, sitting on a plane, moving overseas to a place where I knew no one. We had no home yet, and no community was waiting for us. I felt lost, unsure of how I would make friends or find support as a new mom. The only thing I knew for certain was how to get to the hotel.

That first sleepless night, in the quiet of that unfamiliar space, God met me in my fear and reassured me of His presence. I am here. I'll go with you. You are never alone.

Jesus was, and is, my best friend—the one who requires nothing, listens, and fills my soul with peace.

In time, I found friendships—deep, genuine, life-giving friendships. But first, I learned that His presence was enough.

Since then, with every PCS, I no longer worry about finding friends. I know that He is with me, always. And instead of searching for friendships, I focus on being a friend. Because when we share Jesus' light and love, people will be drawn in.

So, military wife, be the one who invites someone over for coffee. Be the one who shows up with a meal when their spouse is away. Be the one who listens, who cares, who loves. We don't have to do it for recognition, or to receive something in return, because we already have everything we need in Jesus.

Wherever we go, whoever we meet, one thing remains the same: Jesus, our first friend, our best friend. He never moves, never leaves, never lets go.

And that truth? That's worth sharing.

How do you discover joy in the trenches of military life?

Jesus is the Lord of your life, but He’s also your friend. Remember the friendship you have with Jesus and intentionally invest in that relationship. By filling your cup with living water and allowing it to spill out onto others, you won't have to wait for a friend but can be the friend.