The Practice of Presenceනියැදිය

Like we explored yesterday, when Adam and Eve didn’t feel worthy of being in the presence of God, they hid. This is a common response to shame. When we sense rejection lurking around the corner, our instinct is to run and hide. Then we don’t have to face the pain of seeing disappointment or disapproval on the face of someone we love.

One of the easiest ways for us to hide is to pretend.

Pretend we are better than we are.

Pretend we aren’t lonely.

Pretend we don’t long for things to be better or different.

Pretend we have it all together.

Sadly, we may even feel like we have to pretend in church or with our family. We may worry that if we show who we really are, we will be rejected.

The problem is, when we are pretending we can’t be present.

We might physically be in the room, but our hearts are far away.

Have you ever made a familiar drive and pulled into your destination, only to realize you have no real memory of how you got there? Or maybe you’ve been in conversation with someone, but soon found your mind wandering to your to-do list and realized you missed half the words they’ve said?

You’re there, but you’re not really there.

Distractions, busyness, family conflict, or exhaustion can all get in the way of us being fully present and entering into Christmas awake and alive to what God might be doing. We can find ourselves daydreaming through the whole season, working so hard on getting our to-do list done or creating perfect memories, we aren’t really there with people right in front of us.

But Jesus calls us into presence over pretending.

It’s the whole reason He came - to call us out of hiding and into the light of His presence, so we can experience being fully known and fully loved. Romans 5 tells us that God made the first move; we don’t have to clean up our act to be worthy of His love.

If you’re struggling with complicated emotions this Christmas, Jesus is ready to meet you there. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s wonderful when Christmas feels happy and joy-filled, but sometimes we carry grief, loss, overwhelm, or even anger with us into the season. Jesus climbs right into those places and sits with us there. You are not alone.

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything.”

-Tim Keller

Tomorrow, we will wrap up our journey with what it might look like to experience the presence of God this Christmas.

Reflection: Consider whether there are places in your life where you feel pressure to pretend. How might pretending keep you from being fully present to God, others, and yourself? Take a few moments to imagine what it could feel like for God to see all of you - even your complicated emotions - and to know that you are fully loved in that place.

Prayer: God, thank you that we never have to hide with You. Thank you for moving close to us in our hard places and loving us through them. It’s sometimes hard to trust that You really do love us, even when we come up short or don’t feel like we’re supposed to. But in all our striving to pretend we’re better than we are, we often end up running even further away from You. Help us to remember that you are always ready and willing to find us, wherever we are. Sink the truth deep into our hearts that You loved us first, even before we were lovable. May we feel Your fatherly embrace right here, right now. Amen.