Loving an Addict & Living With Griefනියැදිය

Loving someone in addiction can feel like being tossed by relentless waves—one moment you're clinging to a breakthrough, the next you're gasping for air in the wreckage of relapse. Hope rises, only to crash under the weight of disappointment. It’s heartbreaking, exhausting, and all too familiar.

Yes, it’s good to hope. But when our hope is tied solely to someone else’s choices, we’re left on shaky ground. The truth is, no person was ever meant to carry the weight of our ultimate hope. That place belongs to Christ alone. He is our steady anchor when everything else feels uncertain.

I lost count of the times I hoped this time would be the last relapse… the time he’d really change. I held on with everything I had, and when it didn’t happen, I blamed myself. It wasn’t until I shifted my hope from him to Jesus that I began to find steady ground again.

Sometimes, we avoid grieving because it feels like giving up. Or maybe we think if we grieve, we’re losing faith. But grief isn’t the opposite of hope. It’s often the doorway to healing. God invites us to bring our sorrow to Him so He can carry it with us.

Martha and Mary felt this kind of anguish when Lazarus died. They believed Jesus would come and heal him, and when He didn’t show up in time, their hope shattered (John 11). Yet even there, Jesus wept with them.

Take a quiet moment to reflect:

What is keeping you from truly grieving?

Is it fear? Denial? Guilt? Lay it at His feet. Jesus doesn’t ask you to pretend. It’s in the honesty of your grief that He meets you with peace.

Prayer:

God, help me surrender the outcome to You. Teach me to hope in You, not in a version of change that may never come.