Relationships That Flourish: A 30-Day Devotional on Finding Security in Christ and Growing Healthy Connectionsනියැදිය

One of the key concepts we talk about when it comes to identifying red flags is learning to discern character. Paul reminds the believers in Rome that true discernment comes through a renewed mind shaped by God’s wisdom. God is all-knowing. He is the source of all wisdom, and he knows what is best for us. As we seek Him through prayer and His Word, He equips us to recognize what is good and life-giving. Following Him doesn’t guarantee easy relationships, but it does promise His presence and guidance as we navigate them.

At the start of a relationship, whether in friendship, dating, or even at work, we all put our best foot forward. Over time, though, a person's character begins to show—their values, consistency, integrity, and how they respond when things don’t go their way. Discerning character isn’t about expecting perfection, but about paying attention to whether someone’s life points us closer to Christ or pulls us away, whether it builds us up or brings us down.

This kind of discernment takes courage. It means noticing red flags instead of ignoring them, and being honest about what we see, even when it’s hard. Sometimes that may mean slowing down before going deeper in a relationship. Other times, it may mean lovingly addressing issues we see in someone we care about. This process requires humility, because discernment isn’t just about others—it’s about being willing to let God transform our own character, and inviting trusted friends or mentors to speak truth into our lives.

Healthy discernment helps us enter into safe, life-giving relationships—relationships that reflect God’s love and faithfulness. As we look to Christ, the One who embodies perfect character, we are reminded that He not only gives us wisdom for others but is also shaping us into people of integrity, humility, and grace.

Reflect: Take a moment to think about your closest relationships. Are there any character issues you need to lovingly acknowledge or address? How might God be inviting you to grow in your own character? Ask a trusted friend or mentor if they see areas where you could grow.

Pray: Lord, thank You for being my source of wisdom. Help me lovingly discern the character of those I choose to spend time with, and give me the courage to walk in wisdom. Shape my character to look more like Yours, and surround me with relationships that will point me closer to You.