Healing Family Relationships: Finding Healing Through Forgivenessනියැදිය

In Matthew 18:35, Jesus calls us to forgive our brother "from the heart." The heart is God's territory. He is the only one who has the power to change our hearts! So, if we want our hearts changed, we have to ask God to do it. If we want that bucket of mud drained of all of our bitterness, hurt, and resentment, we must open our hearts to Him.

The second phase of forgiveness is a daily prayer. Your prayer may sound something like this: "Lord, I have chosen to forgive my dad. It was not easy to do, and I still don't have anything close to warm feelings toward him. I am afraid to do this because I don't want to get hurt again. But I chose to forgive him out of obedience. Now, I ask You to heal my heart. I don't want to hate him. I don't want to be filled with anger and resentment. I don't want his bad behavior to poison my life. I ask that You cleanse my heart of all those things so that I can be free...free to love You, and even to love my dad."

For some of us, this second phase of forgiveness may take years. It took me six years of praying daily, "God, heal my heart. Take away my anger and bitterness that I have toward my dad." Slowly and mercifully, God drained and cleaned out my old bucket. Don't be discouraged if your heart doesn't change overnight. Continue to ask God to work in your heart, to drain the bitterness and replace it with peace.

Reflection Question: Is there something holding you back from choosing forgiveness? Are you ready to begin the daily prayer pattern of asking God to take away the anger and bitterness in your heart?