One House : 1 Peterਨਮੂਨਾ

Wives & Husbands in Christ

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Peter 3:1–7 ESV

Peter's commands to husbands and wives echo similar commands from Paul (Ephesians 5) and those of the Old Testament. He addresses wives in general, but specifically those with unbelieving husbands. The unbelief of these husbands isn't treated as an excuse for ungodly behavior on the part of the wives, but rather as a calling to even more Godly behavior than what may usually be required of them. Peter's point is not that a woman shouldn't wear gold jewelry or nice clothing, but that their beauty shouldn't be anchored in their appearance. The beauty of a Christian wife is found in the hidden person of the heart. That is to say, that it's what's going on inside of her spirit that makes her attractive and beautiful, not her external appearance. So what are the qualities of a gentle and quiet spirit? It doesn't demand its own way, it's not pushy or self-assertive but rather content in God's love and protection.

Husbands, on the other hand, are to live with their wives in an "understanding way." Peter's appeal here is for husbands to understand that their wives are not like them. They process, feel, and intuit the world around them in ways that are different from men. If husbands can realize this, they can live with their wives in a way that honors their uniqueness as women rather than taking advantage of it.