Love That Lasts: 30 Days to a Stronger Marriageਨਮੂਨਾ

Twelve-Step Bonding

"Above all, love each other deeply." (1 Peter 4:8)

Do you feel "bonded" to your mate? Bonding refers to the emotional connectedness that links a man and woman together for life and makes them irreplaceable to each other. It is God's gift of closest companionship to those who have experienced it.

According to Drs. Donald Joy and Desmond Morris, bonding is most likely to occur between those who have moved systematically and slowly through the following twelve steps during their courtship and marriage:

1) Eye to body. 2) Eye to eye. 3) Voice to voice. 4) Hand to hand. 5) Hand to shoulder. 6) Hand to waist. 7) Face to face. 8) Hand to head. 9) Hand to body. 10) Mouth to breast. 11) Touching below the waist. 12) Intercourse.

The final acts of physical contact should, of course, be reserved for the marital relationship. In the most successful unions, husbands and wives journey through each of the twelve steps regularly. Touching, talking, holding hands, and gazing into one another's eyes are as important to partners in their midlife years as to twenty-year-olds. Indeed, the best way to reinvigorate a tired sex life is to walk through the twelve steps of courtship frequently and with gusto!

Questions for Today . . .

• During our courtship, did I follow this progression of bonding steps?
• Am I regularly experiencing each level of bonding now with my spouse?
• How can I strengthen the physical and emotional bonding in our relationship?

Prayer . . .

Dear Father, if I have been careless in the different kinds of relational bonding, forgive me. Help me to become one with my spouse in body and soul. Amen.

(Excerpted from Dr. James and Shirley Dobson’s book, Night Light for Couples. Used with permission.)

Bonus Content: Bonding in Marriage

In marriage, as in courtship, there’s a simple rule of thumb for intimacy: Take your time.