Recognizing When You've Become a Spiritual Bottleneck

When your leadership limits instead of liberates the church's potential

The most anointed leader who was destroying the people

Moses was the most anointed leader in Israel's history. He spoke with God face to face "as one speaks to a friend," had delivered the people from Egypt, received direct revelations from heaven. Yet he was destroying himself and the people with his inability to let go of control.

From morning to evening, every Israelite with a problem had to wait in line to hear Moses' judgment personally. Two million people. One man. A bottle with the narrowest neck through which all the spiritual and administrative life of a nation had to pass.

It took his father-in-law Jethro, a non-Israelite, to make him see what his spirituality wouldn't let him recognize: he was becoming an obstacle to the welfare of the people he was supposed to serve.

Not through malice or incompetence. But through a sense of indispensability that was suffocating everyone's growth.

And you? Are you Moses or Jethro in your community?

The anatomy of toxic indispensability

One of the most humiliating realizations for a leader is discovering they've become the main obstacle to their community's spiritual growth. Not because they're bad or incompetent, but because they've unconsciously created a system where everything passes through them.

And they've become the chokepoint.

Like Moses, here are the signs no leader wants to see: people wait for you to pray before they pray themselves. Members call you for problems they could solve by seeking God directly. Prayer meetings don't function if you're not there. Small groups struggle without your presence.

The congregation's spiritual gifts remain dormant because everyone looks to you as the only spiritual channel.

You've created, unwittingly, spiritual dependency. People have learned to receive from God through you instead of directly. You've become the mediator between them and God, violating one of the fundamental principles of the priesthood of all believers.

But here's the paradox that destroys: this often happens to the most gifted and spiritually sensitive leaders.

When anointing becomes a drug

Your anointing becomes a drug for spiritually passive people. Instead of teaching them to fish spiritually, you keep bringing them already-cooked fish. Instead of equipping them for ministry, you've made them dependent on your ministry.

And they love you for it. They idolize you for it. They confirm you in this dependency because it's more comfortable to receive than to grow, easier to delegate than to take responsibility.

Here's member complicity: you prefer the pastor to pray for you rather than learn to pray effectively yourself. You feel safer when spiritual decisions pass through the leader instead of personally seeking God's guidance.

You applaud when the pastor "solves everything" instead of asking yourself: "What can I contribute?" You measure the church's spirituality by the leader's power instead of the members' maturity.

You complain if the pastor doesn't visit you when you're sick, but you've never visited anyone. You want him available for your needs, but never make yourself available for others' needs.

The result? A congregation of spiritual consumers feeding off someone else's anointing instead of developing their own relationship with God.

The disappearance test

The test is simple but devastating: what would happen to your church's spiritual life if you disappeared for three months?

If you're a leader: Would people continue growing spiritually or would they collapse? Would ministries keep functioning or would they stop? Would God's presence still be felt or would it disappear with you?

If you're a member: Would you continue growing in faith or would you go into crisis? Would your prayer life survive or would it crumble? Would you seek God directly or would you change churches to find another "mediator"?

If the answer is the second, you haven't built a church - you've built a personality cult. You haven't formed disciples - you've created dependents.

And you, as a member, haven't become a mature Christian—you've remained a spiritual infant who needs to be spoon-fed.

Jesus: the model of productive self-destruction

Jesus modeled the opposite principle: "But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you" (John 16:7, NIV).

He was so secure in people's identity and value that he was willing to make himself "unnecessary" so they could have direct access to God.

He didn't say: "Without me you can do nothing" as a threat of dependency. He said it as a promise of potential: "Whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these" (John 14:12, NIV).

Jesus spent three years working to become unnecessary. His success was measured by how independent the disciples became of him and dependent on God.

"Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these." Not similar works. GREATER.

He was so free from the need for control that he desired his followers to surpass him.

And you? Are you working to become indispensable or to make others capable?

Jethro's solution: power distribution

Jethro's solution was revolutionary: "Select capable men from all the people... and appoint them as officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens" (Exodus 18:21, NIV).

Moses had to stop being the only judge and start being a trainer of judges. He had to go from being indispensable to being a multiplier.

But attention: distributing spiritual power isn't just the leader's responsibility. It's also the members' responsibility to accept that responsibility.

How many times has your pastor tried to delegate something to you and you've responded: "Oh no, you do it better than me" or "I'm not capable" or "I don't feel ready"?

How many times have you preferred to remain a passive spectator instead of becoming an active participant? How many times have you chosen the comfort of dependency instead of the risk of growth?

If members refuse to grow, even the wisest leader can't avoid becoming a bottleneck.

The hidden price of indispensability

But there's a hidden price paid by both indispensable leaders and dependent members.

For the leader: You exhaust yourself physically and emotionally. You become irritable because you carry burdens you weren't meant to carry alone. Your family suffers because you're always "available" for everyone except them.

Your own spiritual life empties because you're always in "giving" mode and never in "receiving" mode. You become an expert in others' spiritual lives and illiterate in your own.

For members: You remain spiritually immature. You never develop spiritual muscles because someone else always uses them for you. Your faith remains fragile because it depends on the presence of a human mediator.

You never learn to hear God's voice because you're used to hearing it filtered through someone else. When real crises come, you collapse because you never learned to stand on your own.

The moment of reckoning

But there's a moment - maybe this is the moment - when you must reckon with a truth that hurts:

Maybe the lack of growth in your church doesn't depend on people's hard hearts.

Maybe it depends on the fact that you've created a system that prevents hearts from growing.

Maybe the problem isn't that "people don't want to commit."

Maybe the problem is that you've made it impossible for them to commit meaningfully.

Maybe the reason members seem spiritually passive isn't laziness.

Maybe it's that you've unconsciously communicated that active spirituality is your job, not theirs.

And you, as a member, maybe you need to admit an even more uncomfortable truth:

Maybe you're not growing spiritually not because the pastor doesn't feed you enough.

Maybe it's because you've chosen to remain a spiritual child instead of becoming an adult in faith.

Maybe the problem isn't that "the church doesn't offer me service opportunities."

Maybe it's that you systematically refuse every opportunity offered to you.

The impossible mathematics of the Kingdom

In God's Kingdom an impossible mathematics operates: when you divide authority, authority multiplies. When you release control, control increases. When you stop being indispensable, you become more influential.

Moses who accepted not being the only judge became the supreme judge. By delegating daily decisions, he could focus on eternal revelations.

Jesus who left physically multiplied his presence through millions of believers.

Paul who formed other apostles extended his ministry beyond the boundaries of his life.

But this mathematics only works if both parties believe in it: the leader must have courage to release, and members must have courage to receive.

The final test of love

Here's the final test to distinguish authentic love from disguised ego:

If you're a leader: Can you genuinely rejoice when someone else in your church succeeds in ways you never imagined? Can you celebrate when God uses someone in more powerful ways than He's ever used you?

Can you be happy when the church grows in directions that weren't in your original plans? Can you honestly say "it's better this way" when someone else does your job better than you?

If you're a member: Can you rejoice when others in the church grow spiritually faster than you? Can you celebrate when someone receives service opportunities you wanted?

Can you support ministry projects even when you're not assigned leadership roles? Can you honestly say "glory to God" when others receive recognition you thought you deserved?

If the answer is no, then both leader and members are serving ego, not the Kingdom.

The final possibility of liberation

But here's the truth that liberates both:

When a leader dies to control for love of the church, often he discovers his influence increases instead of decreasing. Because people follow more willingly those who liberate them than those who control them.

When a member accepts spiritual responsibility instead of delegating it, often he discovers a joy he didn't know. Because there's more blessing in giving than in receiving.

When an entire community chooses maturity over dependency, something miraculous happens: God is no longer imprisoned in one vessel. He pours out through dozens, hundreds of channels.

The church stops being one person's ministry and becomes the ministry of the Body of Christ.

But this requires a death. For both.

The leader must die to the ego that whispers "without you they can't make it".

The member must die to the laziness that whispers "it's not my job".

The questions that change everything

Leaders: If you had to choose between a church that depends completely on you and a church that functions perfectly without you, which would you choose? And does your honest answer reveal whether you're serving the Kingdom or your ego?

Members: If your pastor challenged you tomorrow to take on significant ministry responsibility, would your first reaction be enthusiasm or looking for excuses? And does this answer reveal whether you're growing or stagnating spiritually?

Everyone together: Does your church look more like a hospital where everyone learns to walk, or like a nursing home where only one walks and everyone else gets wheeled around?

Because that resemblance determines whether you're building God's Kingdom or man's kingdom.

If it's the second, it's time for a revolution.

A revolution that begins when the leader has courage to no longer be indispensable.

And when members have courage to no longer be dep/endent.

When everyone chooses painful maturity over infantile comfort.

When the goal stops being "keep the leader at the center" and becomes "put God at the center through everyone".

Because only then will you discover something incredible:

God didn't need a human mediator to reach His people.

He needed a mature people to reveal His glory to the world.

And that people can be you.

But only if you have courage to grow.

Together.