Day 1: 2:00 AM Chats with God

Three years ago, my third child was born (we have since lost a baby at almost the halfway point of pregnancy and welcomed our fourth child). The first two months of his life were some of the hardest, most tiring days (and nights) of my life. My body has never felt such fatigue. There were moments at 2:00 AM and 4:00 AM when the river of tears would start flowing, and I didn’t think I could hold my eyes open or pace the hallways for another second. My body was begging for rest, averaging 2 hours of sleep per night. I remember several nights, I got about 45 minutes of sleep … my legs felt limp, and my body ached like I was giving birth over and over and never had time to heal.

Not only was my son colicky and up crying most nights during those first two months, but I knew that I’d be greeted by two fireball toddlers by 6:30 AM, roaring to go like an animal that spots its prey for the first time. No turning back.

I paced our dark hallway, sang lullabies in hushed tones out of fear of waking my other children, cried out to God, and begged for this season to end. Then, I felt horrible for feeling that way.

Now that my babies sleep for multiple hour stretches during the night, I can’t help but think of the mamas pacing the hallway right now, crying out in defeat, and wading through the dark thoughts of postpartum depression.

Mama — this season will not last forever.

God handpicked you for this job.

Tonight, as you sit in your rocking chair or pace the dark hallway, remember this:

“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” Isaiah 43:2 NLT

This season will change you. This season will strengthen you. God will not abandon you.

Have those 2:00 AM prayer sessions with God. He’s right there with you. In the rocking. In the swaying. Through the tears. In the moments of sheer bliss as you take in the aroma of a newborn baby or see your baby’s body completely at peace.

Heavenly Father,

Tonight, I lift up the mama whose body is begging for rest. Please give her physical and mental rest, Father. Please give her the strength she needs to take care of her family and her body. Please help her ward off thoughts of the enemy and seek the truth of God’s Word. Please put people in her path to encourage her, Father. Please use this season to strengthen her relationship with You.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen