The Approval Trap: Finding Your Worth in God, Not Othersਨਮੂਨਾ

Not all sources of affirmation are created equal.

Today, we're going to build what I call an "approval hierarchy" - learning whose voices deserve your attention and whose opinions you need to ignore.

The Approval Hierarchy

Think of it like this:

1. God's voice (the ultimate truth about who you are)
2. Godly people who know you well (family, close friends, mentors)
3. Acquaintances and strangers (coworkers, social media followers, casual contacts)

Several years ago, my wife and I had a difficult conversation. It had been a long time since she'd said anything complimentary about my preaching on Sundays. I told her I missed hearing about how I was doing.

She said, "You always have people in the lobby telling you how great you are. I figured you needed humbling more than pumping up."

I appreciated that my wife was sensitive to the temptation of arrogance and ego that came with my role and the people's responses. However, I shared something with her that surprised her. I said, "Yes, I do get a lot of positive comments on Sundays. But no one knows me like you. Frankly, I trust your point of view more than anyone else because you know me better than everyone else."

I could see the light go off in my wife's head as she realized I valued her view differently than she perceived. This conversation reminded us that Level 2 voices - people who genuinely know us - carry far more weight than Level 3 voices, who only see our public persona.

Here's the problem: we often invert the hierarchy. We give Level 3 people (strangers online) the power that should belong to Level 1 (God) and Level 2 (those who genuinely know us).

Ask yourself: How close are the sources from whom you're seeking fulfillment? How much trust and history do you share with them?

When I realize I'm looking for people I don't know to let me know if I'm okay, something is off. I also know something is off when I find myself looking for someone to meet a need only God can satisfy. Even godly family and friends cannot meet all your needs - only God can.

Jesus quoted an important verse in the wilderness during His fast and fight with the devil. "Man doesn't live by bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." (Matthew 4:4 NIV)

According to the Bible, what God says about us is the truest and most important thing about us.

So, who are the Level 2 people in your life (ie those who are most like Christ and committed to your good)? Create regular opportunities for affirmation there. Remind them of your need for it, like I did with my wife. Ask them to pray for your battle for a healthier sense of self. When you feel tempted to return to old ways, reach out to these people.

Most importantly, make Level 1 - God's voice - your primary source of truth about who you are. Turn to what God says about you for healthy affirmation, not your apps nor the opinions of others.

Tomorrow, we'll discover specific truths about your identity that God wants you to remember daily. But today, ask yourself: whose voices am I prioritizing, and do they deserve that power in my life?