Shattered, Still Chosenਨਮੂਨਾ

Healing With Boundaries and Trust

When you’ve experienced abuse or deep emotional trauma, learning to trust again can feel impossible.

You may wonder:

• “Can I trust my own judgment?”
• “What if someone hurts me again?”
• “Is it even okay to have walls up?”

Let’s be clear—boundaries are not walls. Boundaries are gates. They are wisdom in action. They don’t block everyone out forever; they protect what’s precious while you heal.

When I started walking through my healing journey, I realized that rebuilding trust, especially in marriage, required more than prayer. It required intentional boundaries and honest communication.

I had to learn:

• It’s okay to say “I’m not ready for that yet.”
• It’s okay to ask for space without guilt.
• It’s okay to speak up when something doesn’t feel safe.

Healing doesn’t mean pretending nothing ever happened. It means acknowledging what happened and making choices that honor your healing.

God doesn’t ask us to ignore our pain. He teaches us to guard our hearts—not from a place of fear, but with discernment.

Jesus Himself set boundaries:

• He withdrew when He needed rest.
• He didn’t entrust Himself to everyone.
• He let people walk away if they chose not to receive Him.

If the Son of God had boundaries, friend, so can you.

And when it comes to trust, especially in relationships that are rebuilding, trust isn’t all-or-nothing.

Trust is built one step at a time.

One honest conversation at a time.

One safe moment at a time.

Your spouse may not understand all that you’re feeling. They may not know what to do—but that doesn’t mean they’re against you. Invite them into your healing, not as the one to fix you, but as someone who can walk beside you.

Healing doesn’t mean you’re weak. And needing boundaries doesn’t mean you’re broken.

It means you’re becoming wise.

It means you’re choosing to protect your peace.

It means you’re letting God teach you how to love yourself and others in a way that’s safe and healthy.

Reflection:
What boundary do you need to set (or communicate) to feel safe as you heal? Who do you need to invite into your healing journey, and who may need limited access right now?

Prayer:
God, sometimes I feel guilty for needing space, for needing boundaries, for saying "no" or "not yet." But I know You care about my heart. Help me guard it well, with wisdom and love. Show me how to rebuild trust—slowly, honestly, and with grace. Give me discernment about who to let in and how to move forward without fear. In Jesus’ name, amen.