What if I’m Wrong?: Navigating the Waves of Fear and Failureਨਮੂਨਾ

Losing my dad had me grappling with a new understanding of God. I was drowning. And I didn’t understand how God operated anymore. I couldn’t quantify his work without him keeping up his end of the transaction. It felt like God had discarded my dad, a man who trusted him wholly. I didn’t know if I could rely on this God. A God who lets some dreams get lost at sea. A God who let my spiritual hero get Alzheimer’s.

What about you? If you hadn’t lived your life thinking God had called you to “this,” whatever “this” is, how would your life look different? Has your passion for that thing given you a deep sense of purpose? How have all these years of work made your life more meaningful? If you feel you’ve been fruitlessly fishing for purpose, what if your time on the water has made you a better version of yourself? What if the same waves that break us, form us? Is it possible that your passion, while painful, has also made you beautiful?

I’d be willing to bet that there is fruit on the branches of your life. Maybe it isn’t money or power. Maybe you don’t feel important. But what if those types of fruit aren’t the fruit of heaven anyway? I think that while I was praying to be rich and righteous, my dad was praying to serve humbly and with integrity. God honored those prayers. And God will honor yours.

It’s easy for me, on a bad day, to look at my life and wonder if I’ll ever have anything to show for it. Maybe I didn’t inherit my father’s faithfulness. Maybe I need security and safety more than I need to dream. I often worry that all of this passion will eventually drown me. But lately, I have started to wonder, What if I’m Wrong?

What if God’s promise is trustworthy? What if Isaiah 40:31 is true, that “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint”? What if there really is reason to hope?

PRAYER: Thank you, God, that you can handle my honest questions, doubts, and fears, and that I can trust today that in you, and with you, I can walk and not grow faint. Amen.