Under the Broom Tree

There’s a moment in Elijah’s story that has always resonated with me. After a great spiritual victory, he runs into the wilderness, sits under a broom tree, and prays that he might die. “I’ve had enough, Lord,” he says. “Take my life.” (1 Kings 19:4–5 NLT)

I’ve felt that. Not in a dramatic, crisis-driven way, but in the quiet exhaustion that comes from carrying depression day after day. Like Elijah, I’ve served faithfully. I’ve led worship, preached sermons, counseled others, and prayed with conviction. But behind the scenes, I’ve often felt depleted. And like Elijah, I’ve wanted to lie down and not get up.

One of the loneliest parts of depression is the need to mask -- for the comfort of others, and sometimes for survival. Few people know how to respond to a depressed Christian, much less a depressed pastor. It feels like an oxymoron. I’ve even been rebuked for sharing this side of myself, as if acknowledging my struggle was a betrayal of faith.

I’ve been told things like, “Don’t speak that over yourself,” or “Just refuse that in the name of Jesus.” The implication was clear: if I had enough faith, I wouldn’t be depressed. That kind of spiritual messaging can be deeply damaging. It suggests that depression is a failure of belief, a lack of prayer, or a sign of spiritual immaturity.

But God didn’t rebuke Elijah. He sent an angel to feed him, let him rest, and gently led him forward. That story reminds me that God doesn’t demand performance -- He offers presence. He doesn’t shame us for being weary -- He meets us in our weariness.

I’ve learned that His grace is all I need (2 Corinthians 12:9), not because it erases the depression, but because it meets me in it. Grace doesn’t demand that I be cheerful -- it invites me to be honest. It doesn’t shame me for struggling -- it strengthens me to keep going.

If you’re under your own broom tree today, I want you to know: you’re not alone. God sees you. He knows the weight you carry. And He’s not asking you to pretend. He’s offering rest, nourishment, and grace for the next step.

Reflection Questions

• Have you ever felt like Elijah, exhausted and done?
• What does it mean to you that God met Elijah with compassion, not correction?

Prayer

God, I’m tired. I’ve tried to stay strong, but I feel worn down. Thank You for meeting me with grace, not judgment. I don’t have to pretend with You. Help me rest in Your presence and give me strength for the next step. Amen.