A Royal Trap

By Alessandra Velsor

“Joab son of Zeruiah knew that the king’s heart longed for Absalom. So Joab sent someone to Tekoa and had a wise woman brought from there. He said to her, ‘Pretend you are in mourning. Dress in mourning clothes, and don’t use any cosmetic lotions. Act like a woman who has spent many days grieving for the dead. Then go to the king and speak these words to him.’ And Joab put the words in her mouth. When the woman from Tekoa went to the king, she fell with her face to the ground to pay him honor, and she said, ‘Help me, Your Majesty!’ The king asked her, ‘What is troubling you?’ She said, ‘I am a widow; my husband is dead. I your servant had two sons. They got into a fight with each other in the field, and no one was there to separate them. One struck the other and killed him. Now the whole clan has risen up against your servant; they say, “Hand over the one who struck his brother down, so that we may put him to death for the life of his brother whom he killed; then we will get rid of the heir as well.” They would put out the only burning coal I have left, leaving my husband neither name nor descendant on the face of the earth.’ The king said to the woman, ‘Go home, and I will issue an order in your behalf.’ But the woman from Tekoa said to him, ‘Let my lord the king pardon me and my family, and let the king and his throne be without guilt.’ The king replied, ‘If anyone says anything to you, bring them to me, and they will not bother you again.’ She said, ‘Then let the king invoke the Lord his God to prevent the avenger of blood from adding to the destruction, so that my son will not be destroyed.’ ‘As surely as the Lord lives,’ he said, ‘not one hair of your son’s head will fall to the ground.’”—2 Samuel 14:1-11 (NIV)

One of my favorite movies growing up was The Parent Trap, where two sisters discover they are long-lost twins at a sleepaway summer camp and plot to switch places to meet their other parent they’ve never met. In doing this, they also conspired to get both parents back together, while breaking the engagement of their father. My eight-year-old little heart was rooting for those girls to accomplish their plan, and when they did reach that happily ever after, I rejoiced for their whole family because they’d all be together forever. As a young girl, I didn’t understand the real-life consequences of their deception because the movie was wrapped up in a neat little bow at the end.

And perhaps, this is the intention of Joab’s conniving plan in today’s passage. Joab does something similar to those twins by conspiring with a wise woman from a town called Tekoa. From the beginning, we learn Joab is distressed with the situation between his Uncle David and his son, Absalom, who has been banished from the family. Although David longed for Absalom, he was well aware that reconciliation would be nearly impossible.

King David had an empathetic heart, and Joab knew it. As much as Joab was loyal to David, and a valiant warrior bringing much success to Israel during battles as the king’s commander in the army, we’ve also witnessed him lose his self-control in 2 Samuel 3 when he avenges his brother’s murderer. This soured the relationship between the king and his nephew. David doesn’t just curse Joab, but his family, too: “May his blood fall on the head of Joab and his whole family! May Joab’s family never be without someone who has a running sore or leprosy or who leans on a crutch or who falls by the sword or who lacks food” (2 Samuel 3:29 NIV).

It doesn’t seem like, at this point, Joab has the full trust of the king. But if Joab were to send someone pretending to mourn her son’s death—using a not-so-similar story to his own in defending his brother—then perhaps he could get the king to agree to reconcile with his own son Absalom, which would end the situation with a happily ever after.

The story the woman uses has David promise to forgive the sins of her son, who is guilty of murdering his brother, and who the whole family now wants dead. She claims she’s a widow, and those are her only two sons, which means there’d be no heir left in the family to carry on her late husband’s name. As we know in Jewish tradition, they greatly valued their heirs and wanted their families to have a full and fruitful family tree.

The greater question of this story is: Should David forgive his son? The Bible calls us to forgive, but forgiveness doesn’t always call for full restoration of a ruptured relationship, like in this case of David and his son Absalom. Also, forgiveness shouldn’t be weaponized or forced on someone else; it should remain a voluntary choice, and it should come from the heart of the one offended.

True reconciliation involves both parties, and it requires the offender to recognize their sins and repent from them. Forgiveness is a gift that needs to be received by the offender; therefore, there should be recognition of wrongdoing. Forgiveness can be a long healing journey for many, and when dealing with grievous sins, we can’t expect it to happen overnight.

Pause: Read Psalm 37:27–29. How does God promise to defend and heal those who’ve been wounded? How would this relate to David in this story?

Practice: Read Luke 17:3–4 and apply it! If your brother or sister sins and then repents, you must work on forgiving them. Is there someone you need to forgive?

Pray: Father, thank You for giving me the strength and the compassion to forgive those who’ve severely wounded me. Thank You for the example of Your Son, Jesus, who forgave ALL of my sins and continues to forgive me now. Continue to work in my heart daily and to depend on You to offer grace. Give me the courage to also ask for forgiveness and admit my sins to those I’ve hurt. I want to live this life in the freedom You offer us all. Amen.