Loving an Addict & Living With Griefಮಾದರಿ

When we think of grief, our minds often go straight to mourning the death of a loved one. But grief isn’t confined to funerals or final goodbyes. It shows up in the quiet losses too—the unseen heartbreaks that don’t always get acknowledged.

As someone who loves a person struggling with addiction, I’ve come to understand a different kind of grief. It’s the sorrow of watching someone you care about change before your eyes. It’s grieving the person they used to be, the dreams you once shared, the version of life you thought you’d have together.

After 24 years of marriage, I never imagined I’d be navigating divorce from my husband because of his continued struggle with addiction. I didn’t even realize I was grieving at first. But I found myself mourning things that hadn’t “died”—my marriage, the father I thought my kids would always have, the dreams I held close for our future. It was grief in silence… until God gave it a name and began to gently walk me through it.

This kind of grief is complicated because they’re still here, but in many ways, you’ve lost them. And that loss brings its own cycle of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and eventually, with God’s help, acceptance.

My hope as we walk through this plan together is that you will begin to discover a peace and joy that isn’t dependent on your loved one’s choices—a peace that comes from the Father, even in the midst of the chaos addiction can bring.

Hannah grieved deeply over her inability to conceive. Her sorrow was so intense that Eli thought she was drunk (1 Samuel 1). Yet God saw her pain and honored her raw, honest prayer.