Remember the Empty Nest

Before you became a grandparent, you may have gone through a season of life that had been eagerly awaited, not as easy as you thought, and brought its own share of second-guessing and worry. I’m referring to those bittersweet months or years of “the empty nest.”

Every situation is different. But you may have had a hard time saying good-bye, letting go, cutting the cord, and wondering what the future would bring. Your home that was once so full of life, seemed almost desolate.

Somehow you survived the empty nest. What lessons did you learn that apply to your current role as grandparent?

You may have learned to embrace change and even replace fear or discomfort with a sense that a new calling, a new adventure awaits. Maybe God revealed to you a strategy for being bolder and seizing new opportunities as you claimed, for example, 2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV) - “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” Power, love, and self-discipline are essential tools for facing any new season of life.

As grandparents, those skills will come in extra handy. On behalf of your adult children and their spouses, the goal is to maintain and even strengthen relationships. They may not say it out loud, but they still need you! When your kids ventured out on their own, they were probably intentional about creating distance. They needed to prove they could make it. Now, as parents, they may have new questions and even some doubts. Don’t be surprised if they begin to lean into a reinvented relationship with you.

Two words of caution: first, even as they seek your advice, don’t expect the next generation of parents to agree with everything you suggest. Second, a renewed relationship with your adult children may come with some old baggage based on the eighteen-plus years they were under your care. Go ahead; bring it up. You want to get to the point that together you can laugh at those days when you were both testing your boundaries.

Finally, just as your children left the nest a few years ago, even your youngest grandchildren will be doing the same thing sooner than you can imagine. As the years unfold, one of your goals is to help prepare them for their independence…while depending on the Lord.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Psalm 127:4 equates children with arrows. Well, arrows aren’t achieving their purpose if they remain in the quiver. Grandparents and parents need to stand firm, sharpen each arrow, choose the right target, pull them close to your heart…and let them fly.