Throughნიმუში

It’s in choosing to forgive that we personify God’s kingdom on earth.

But this is so difficult for us. It’s as if ‘an eye for an eye’ has been hard-wired into our DNA. Forgive her for what she said about me? Forgive him for all the years of abuse? We rack up the reasons for why it would be impossible to forgive. After all, the other person instigated all the trouble. Why should we forgive?

Yet we pray, “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” As this well-rehearsed prayer slips off our tongues, do we think about the implications of what we’re saying? That there’s a proviso attached to our request to be forgiven by God – we will be forgiven to the same degree that we forgive others. We reason with God: “Surely you heard how he spoke about me in public and ruined my reputation?” “You saw how she broke up our marriage.” “You know that it’s his fault my daughter no longer speaks to me.” “I can’t forgive!”

Then we remember Jesus’ words on the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” But he was God, we try to argue. He had some superhuman capacity to forgive and to love others. We veer between our stubbornness not to forgive and a realisation that this is what we’re expected to do.

We need to be honest with ourselves and take a step back from the situation we’re enduring, or from the person or persons who have hurt us. We should think of all the things we’ve done in the past to offend others, of sins committed in secret, about which we’d hate anyone to know, of our countless daily slip-ups, outbursts, and hurtful gossip. God forgives us for all of that. His argument to us is, if I’ve already forgiven you for all that you’ve done wrong, how can you not forgive that person?

He speaks these words out of love, not judgment. He sees our broken hearts, and he understands the pain caused to us by another. He reassures us of this: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near, and their doom rushes upon them.” Our problem is that we never seem sure that God will punish them enough, so we feel the need to implement a judgement which we believe fits the hurt they’ve caused us.

As we make our way through our challenges, we need to ask whether there’s someone we need to forgive. Or perhaps even someone from whom we need to ask for forgiveness. We are to ask God for his guidance and for the right opportunity to do so. This is especially because God’s whisper can reach the heart of another and create a healing space, in a way that no human words can.

Each situation is unique, so there’s no generic way of dealing with forgiveness. But we shouldn’t delay. We are to pray, and then put into action what we’re led to do. We must recognise that the other person may feel threatened by our actions, and our attempts to reach out may be rejected. We should forgive anyway. When we’re tempted to take up the baggage of self-pity and judgment, we’re to keep our eyes on how much we’ve been forgiven. Because we’ve been shown such grace, we must pray that God might give us the same grace to show others, despite the pain they’ve caused us. From this, we will find a growing inner peace and a lightness of heart. Some of those chains which have bound us will be loosened, and the path ahead will appear that much lighter.

And what of forgiving ourselves?

Sometimes this is even more difficult than forgiving others. We all carry the guilt of things we’ve done in the past. We may have caused pain and suffering to others. We may have inflicted harm on our own bodies through an addiction. We may even have turned away from God and sworn that we’ll never believe in him. The good news is that he loves us regardless. A perfect illustration is the thief who hung next to Jesus. Despite his agony, despite whatever evil he’d committed, he turned to God and was in that moment assured of a place in heaven.

It may be time to hear Jesus’ words: “Your sins are forgiven. Now go and sin no more.”

Just as forgiving others is a process, so it will be to forgive yourself. But take the step. Know that Satan will do his best to remind you of how badly you hurt others, and of how terrible your sins of the past were. But remember. Jesus came for sinners. Each time a sinner turns to God, all the angels rejoice – so many of Jesus’ parables were about exactly that. Confess your sins, no matter how bad they are, and ask that God will put a spirit of forgiveness in your heart. Also, the spirit to forgive yourself. Remind yourself daily that you no longer need to drag around the burden of the things you’ve done in the past because God no longer sees them. So why should you?

Some thoughts to ponder:

• Is there someone you find it hard to forgive? Having read through today's devotions, is the Holy Spirit prompting you to start walking along the path of forgiveness?
• Is there something that you need to ask God for forgiveness? Or that you need to forgive yourself for?