I’m Just a Guy: Fighting Depressionნიმუში

The Lies of Shame

There’s nothing worse than the feeling that you’re no good or not enough.

I find it interesting how quickly I forget the moments in my life that have gone well, while at the same time, it feels like every failure I’ve ever experienced is sitting on standby yelling, “Put me in, coach.” My natural tendency is to lean toward failures rather than remembering the countless times God has proven otherwise.

After my first marriage ended, shame and condemnation began to take over. When I looked in the mirror, all I saw was a man who couldn’t make it. I told myself that the failure of my marriage was only the beginning—that other failures would soon follow. It felt like a snowball rolling downhill, gathering size and speed. The longer I dwelled on that one failure, the more areas it seemed to infect. Lies multiplied: You’re a terrible father. You’re not smart enough. You’ll never be healthy. On and on they came.

Deep dives into negativity are dangerous. The weight of shame builds slowly, but it can crush us until we feel completely useless. And that’s exactly what the evil one wants—to sideline us, to convince us to take ourselves out of the game. For me, that’s what happened for far too long. I believed there was no good in me, and shame gladly benched me every chance it could.

That’s the danger of giving shame too much headspace: it makes us obsolete. And let’s be honest—when men bench themselves, everyone loses. It’s happening at alarming rates today, and it demands corrective action. Turning to Scripture, Paul hits the truth head-on in Romans 8:1, a truth I buried and ignored for years: “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (NIV)

If that is true—and it is—then nothing I’ve done, nothing I’m doing, and nothing I will ever do can define me. The same goes for you. The only One who gets to tell us who we are is Christ.

Instead of listening to the lies of the evil one, we must redirect. Our worth is not tied to performance, success, or failure—it is rooted in where we put our faith. If the enemy is feeding you lies right now and you find yourself believing them more than you’d like, I encourage you to put Romans 8:1 somewhere visible. Memorize it. Speak it aloud. Pray it. Let it drown out the accusations. Silence the evil one and reclaim the truth: in Christ, there is no condemnation.

Reflection Questions:

1. What lies about your identity do you most often believe?
2. How has shame tried to sideline you in life?