The Path to Reconciliation

By Romina Chevren

“Then Abner sent messengers on his behalf to say to David, ‘Whose land is it? Make an agreement with me, and I will help you bring all Israel over to you.’ ‘Good,’ said David, ‘I will make an agreement with you. But I demand one thing of you: Do not come into my presence unless you bring Michal, daughter of Saul, when you come to see me.’ . . . Abner conferred with the elders of Israel and said, ‘For some time you have wanted to make David your king. Now do it! For the Lord promised David, "By my servant David I will rescue my people Israel . . .”’ Abner also spoke to the Benjamites in person. Then he went to Hebron to tell David everything that Israel and the whole tribe of Benjamin wanted to do. When Abner, who had twenty men with him, came to David at Hebron, David prepared a feastfor him and his men. Then Abner said to David, ‘Let me go at once and assemble all Israel for my lord the king, so that they may make a covenantwith you, and that you may rule over all that your heart desires.’So David sent Abner away, and he went in peace.”—2 Samuel 3:12–21 (NIV)

This passage captures a pivotal moment in Israel’s journey from division to unity. For years, the kingdom had been torn between loyalty to Saul’s house and God’s chosen king, David. But here we see a turning point—reconciliation beginning to take shape, not through violence, but through negotiation, humility, and a willingness to lay down old loyalties.

Abner, Saul’s former commander and once a key player in resisting David’s rise, reaches out to David with an offer to help unify the kingdom under his rule. Abner's decision reflects a significant change of heart. He’s no longer clinging to the past; he’s ready to move forward and support what God has ordained.

David’s response is surprisingly gracious. He agrees to the alliance, and although he makes one request—that Michal, his former wife and Saul’s daughter, be returned—it’s clear that David also desires peace. When Abner arrives, David welcomes him with a feast, not a fight. He sends him away “in peace,” symbolizing a willingness to forgive and work together toward a common good.

This interaction shows us that reconciliation often requires courage, humility, and initiative—from both sides. Abner took the first step, and David responded not with suspicion or retaliation, but with open hands.

How often do we let pride or old wounds stop us from taking that first step? How often do we miss God’s plan for unity because we’re still clinging to past offenses?

Reconciliation doesn't mean forgetting the past, but it does mean choosing not to be defined by it. David could have reminded Abner of all the years he fought against him, but instead, he chose to look forward. Abner could have continued defending a collapsing kingdom, but instead, he embraced God’s plan and helped fulfill it.

This story invites us to examine our own hearts:

·Is there someone God’s calling you to make peace with?

·Are you holding onto past loyalties or grudges that God’s asking you to release?

·Could God be inviting you to be part of healing something that has long been broken?

The path to reconciliation is rarely easy, but when we walk it with humility and faith, it brings peace—not just to us, but to the people around us.

God’s plans for unity often begin with one brave step. Will you take it?

Pause:

·Is there a relationship in your life that God may be calling you to mend?

·Are there old loyalties, grievances, or patterns that keep you from walking in God’s new plan?

Practice:

1.Take the First Step: Like Abner, reach out—whether it’s a conversation, a message, or a prayer—for healing and unity.

2.Respond with Grace: If someone seeks peace with you, respond like David, with generosity and a willingness to move forward.

3.Promote Peace: Be a bridge builder in your family, church, or community. Use your influence to bring people together.

Pray: Lord, thank You for showing me the beauty of reconciliation. Help me to let go of pride and past offenses. Give me the courage to take the first step toward peace and the grace to respond with humility when others do. Teach me to be a peacemaker, someone who walks in Your truth and promotes Your kingdom of unity. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.