Living Beyond Offense: 7 Days Exploring Forgivenessનમૂનો

Forgiveness Doesn’t Equal Reconciliation

So far we’ve defined forgiveness as the merciful decision to release an offender of a debt and not retaliate against them in anger. Forgiveness is a solo work you do before God independent of your offender’s apology, explanation, or plea for forgiveness. However, where forgiveness is the solo work of the offended, reconciliation is the shared work of both the offended and the offender.

Reconciliation is the committed decision of both the offended and the offender to do the hard work of restoring safety, security, and shalom in the relationship. Reconciliation is not a work you can do alone. It’s shared work. When you roll up your sleeves and try do the shared work of reconciliation solo, you are relationally over-functioning. You are doing more than what is good and right for you and them. By taking on the responsibility to restore relational harmony, you enable their behavior.

But what is good, right, and needed for the relationship to live beyond offense is humble confrontation and a call for repentance. Without these steps, you may succeed at keeping the peace, but you will fall short of making shalom. For true reconciliation to be achieved, you need to discern where your work begins and ends, then do no more or less.

Terms And Conditions

Thankfully Jesus doesn’t leave us in the dark about where our work in the reconciliation process ends and where our offender’s work begins. In both the message of the gospel and in His teachings, He clearly lays out the terms and conditions for when to move beyond an offense and do the hard-yet-worthy work of reconciliation.

In the Message of the Gospel

At the cross Jesus does the solo work of providing forgiveness for the past, present, and future sins of the entire human race. In 1 John 2:2, the apostle John writes, “[Jesus] himself is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours, but also for those of the whole world” (CSB). Though John is writing to a Christian audience, he clarifies for them that Jesus didn’t just die for the sins of believers; He died for everyone’s sin. Apart from receiving an apology or retribution, Jesus willfully dies for us all. From a place of safety, security, and shalom in His relationship with God, He freely humbles Himself “by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:8 ESV). While we were yet sinners, Christ died (Romans 5:6). Before we turned to Him with repentance and faith, Christ made the merciful decision to release us of our sin debt and not retaliate against us. He forgave us willingly, freely, and fully. No terms or conditions predicated His forgiveness. It was a solo work He did to please the Father.

However, there are terms and conditions that must be met to experience Jesus’s gift of forgiveness and be reconciled to Him. We must respond to Jesus’s call to “repent and believe in the gospel” (Mark 1:15 ESV). We must, by faith, claim Jesus’s atoning work on the cross as the only means by which our relationship with God can be restored. We must repent by transferring our allegiance from the kingdom of darkness to the Kingdom of heaven. Those are the terms and conditions for experiencing the gift of God’s forgiveness and being reconciled to Him. In John 1:12, the apostle John writes, “To all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” (ESV).

Here’s the guiding principle on forgiveness and reconciliation we receive from the message of the gospel: Forgiveness is for everybody; reconciliation is for a repentant few.