Helping Your Kids Know God's Good Designનમૂનો

Talk About Sex Inside of Marriage

Ask your child if they have ever made a promise to someone. Discuss what kind of promises they have made. If they have never made a promise, you can share some promises you have made, such as promising to take them to the park or promising to bring home a treat. Then you can talk about how when people make a promise, they sometimes shake hands, lock pinkies, or even sign a contract. All of these actions show that a promise is serious, and the people making it plan to keep it.

You can then say, “Did you know that marriage is a promise? When a husband and wife get married, they promise to love one another in a way that they do not love anyone else. And they promise to stay together for their whole lives.” You can then take your child to Genesis 2:24, which reads, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (ESV). You can read the verse a second time and ask your child to listen to what truth is revealed at the end. When your child identifies “becoming one flesh” as the revealed truth, you can explain a part of what it means for a married couple to become one flesh is an act called sex. This is the most uncomfortable part of the conversation for us adults, but here is a simple way to explain it to your child: “Sex is when a man puts his penis inside of a woman’s vagina. This act reminds the husband and wife of the promise they have made to one another: to love one another and stay together for life. God designed sex to help a husband and wife love each other and get to know one another better. Just as shaking hands or signing a contract are acts that seal a promise, sex is the act that God designed to seal the promise of marriage.” You can then say to your child, “This idea might sound strange or confusing to you, and that’s okay.” Remind your child that God designed sex for a husband and wife, and since it will be a long time before your child is old enough to get married, they do not need to understand everything about sex right now.

Similar to the conversation about body parts, you will want to ask your child if they have any questions. Again, if you need more time to think through an appropriate answer, do not hesitate to affirm your child’s question and tell them you’ll come back to this conversation once you’ve had some time to think about the answer. To close the conversation, remind your child that sex is something very special that God has designed for husbands and wives to seal the promise of marriage. Sex is so special that your child should not discuss it with their friends or other adults. At this age, they should only talk about it with their parents. If you sense that your child will want to talk about it with their friends, reassure them that their friends’ moms and dads will talk about it with them, so your child knows they don’t need to be the one to bring it up.