FIRSTનમૂનો

The "Dark Side" of Faith

By S. George Thomas

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow.... Psalm 23:4

I have a confession to make. I am a total sucker for flawed and conflicted characters in stories. Slightly bizarre, I know, but it’s true—I’ve always had a difficult time relating to characters who have it all together, who have all the answers.

Sure, I want to be like the heroic characters I see on the big screen or read about in the pages of books. But if I’m being totally and brutally honest with myself, the characters I identify with most aren’t the heroes. In Braveheart, it’s not William Wallace I most relate to; it’s Robert the Bruce — the guy who vacillates back and forth throughout the entire movie until the very end. In the epic Lord of the Rings trilogy, it’s the bi-polar Gollum/Smeagol, not the heroic Aragorn. In C.S. Lewis’s classic novel, The Chronicles of Narnia, my favorite is Edmund—the traitor who only later repents and turns to good.

Perhaps that’s why, when I read through the Bible, the people I connect with most are those who struggle with questions and doubt: Job, Jeremiah, and Doubting Thomas. The Bible is chock-full of people asking questions. The mighty “heroes of the faith” aren’t exempt from it. Abraham, Moses, and David—the “man after God’s own heart”—have their share of questions and doubts. Just flip through the Bible; it’s full of stories about the heroes of our faith who doubted and questioned. Even Jesus, while hanging on the cross, cries out, “Why?” (Matthew 27:46; Mark 15:34).

For most of our lives, we suppress our doubts and questions—both from others and ourselves—at all costs. We don’t like to think about them or talk about them, and we don’t ever want to experience them. It’s the shadow side of our faith—the “dark side.” But then we come face to face with an event that rocks us to our core and forces us to confront this dark side. Tragic, mind-numbing events, like 9/11, the loss of a job, and the death of a loved one, all lead us to ask ... “Why?”

Have you ever looked at a piece of negative film? Before it’s developed, it isn’t exposed to light. The light areas appear dark and vice versa—everything is inverted and backward. That’s how our doubts are—they’re confusing, so we rarely bring them out in the open, exposing them to light. But here’s what’s fascinating: negative images are the master images, from which all positive images are made. A developer can’t produce beautiful photographs without first having a negative. And those negatives can’t be developed without first being carefully treated and then passing light through the negative onto light-sensitive paper. Likewise, when you bring your honest doubts and questions to God—the Master Developer—He takes your “negatives,” treats them, and exposes them to His light, thus producing beautiful and enduring faith in you. Mark tells of a father with a demon-possessed son who comes to Jesus at the end of his rope desperately crying, “Lord, I believe, help Thou my unbelief!” (Mark 9:17–27). This may seem like a contradictory statement, but it’s not. Here’s why: faith is not about having a complete absence of uncertainty, it’s about steadfastly believing that God is real, present, and good, even in the face of doubt — when it flies in the face of all that’s rational and common sense (Hebrews 11:1; 2 Corinthians 5:7; 1 Corinthians 2:5). Because in the presence of certainty, who would need faith at all? If Peter had seen Jesus walking on the water when it was peaceful, do you think he would have stepped out of the boat (Matthew 14:22–33)? I doubt it.

Now lest I be misunderstood, let me be perfectly clear. You can’t perpetually live in doubt. If you don’t press through your honest doubts to full faith, your doubt becomes sin, because “everything that does not come from faith is sin” (Romans 14:23, NIV). You have to move on and acknowledge that even when you cannot see His hand, you can always trust His heart (Job 1:20–22; Job 13:15). Also, there’s a marked difference between asking God honest questions and questioning Him, who He is or His goodness. Don’t make the mistake of confusing knowing God with understanding God. While He invites us to know Him, it’s a total presumption to assume we can completely understand or figure Him out (Jeremiah 24:7; John 10:14). God is a mystery. His ways are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:9). If, when, and how He chooses to answer our questions is completely up to Him (Job 38–41).

But here’s what amazes me—even though God doesn’t have any obligation to hear my questions, my fears, and my doubts, He chooses to do so (Job 41:11; Psalm 143:1). And even more mind-boggling, He doesn’t turn away from me, reject me or chastise me for them. God isn’t intimidated by my questions. With infinite love and patience, He guides me through the valley of the shadow. He answers my questions in ways I could never dream of (Psalm 34:4). God never rejects those who seek Him but still struggle. Matthew 12:20 (NIV) says, “A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out.” Books like Job, Ecclesiastes, Psalms, and Lamentations show us beyond question that God understands the value of human doubt. Because when we honestly confront our doubts, we find ourselves growing into a faith that transcends doubt. The very act of asking God questions indicates that we don’t have all the answers and that we solely depend on Him. God wants us to ask, because asking puts us back on track with Him (Matthew 7:7–8).

I ended my first book with the words ‘no answer.’ I know now, Lord, why You utter no answer. You are Yourself the answer. Before Your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?

~ C. S. Lewis

Memory Verse

But without faith, it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Hebrews 11:6