Stronger in the Difficult Placesનમૂનો

Day 4

A FRESH START

If you have complex shame, you must do your own reckoning with it. No one is going to save you, nor should they. Any attempt to save you would continue to cripple you. You heal yourself when you develop the strength and knowledge to break out of your own complex-shame shell.

As you own your shame, God is with you to help you make a fresh start. The Bible teaches that, if we confess our sins, God will “cleanse us from all the wrongs we have done” (1 John 1:9 NCV). Romans 8:1 says, “There is now no condemnationfor those who are in Christ Jesus” (NIV). We trust in that truth and accept that we are forgiven. Then we can move on.

I must emphasize that owning shame is not the same as owning blame. Sometimes we are ashamed of not just what we have done, but things that were done to us, over which we had no control. We don’t need to confess that, we need own the reality of it and allow God to help us move past it.

Paul says, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press ontoward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14 NIV). Shame—however it was formed—is behind us. We can move past it.

But if you’re going to own the bad, you must also own the good. And there is so much good! Despite your mistakes and your trauma, you’ve cre­ated good in your life too, whether it’s wisdom, little humans, growth, or connections. You have good, and you have so much good to share. Pause for a second and think of the good that is in your life. It doesn’t mean there isn’t anything—or even a lot—that you want to change, but for just this minute, focus on the good.

When you take responsibility for all the things that happened in your past, your natural inclination is to lament them—to feel bad about them, to try to figure out how it could have been different or how you could have avoided that pain. Forgiveness, though, is acceptance.

What happened in your past wasn’t okay, and it will never be okay, but it still happened. And as a result, you have grown and learned and healed and you can love yourself. My favorite definition of forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past. In giving up all hope of a better past, you create boundless potential for your future. You won’t just be okay. You will thrive!

When have you sought forgiveness from God? What does it look like to receive God’s forgiveness?