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Seeking the Perspective of Jesus

di·lem·ma –“a situation in which somebody must choose one of two or more unsatisfactory alternatives”

Ever had a situation that was so upsetting to you that any choice you made would be a bad one? It’s called a “dilemma.” Are you in a dilemma now? This devilish situation challenges us in a bewildering way, for we are required to make a decision laced with uncertainty and the knowledge that the decision we make might be the wrong one. It could have lingering consequences for us, and as a result, it stymies clear decision-making. I say that it is a “devilish situation,” not because all dilemmas are instigated by the devil, but rather because he invented the dilemma in the first place, as a way to tempt mankind away from God’s plan and purpose for us.

Using a dilemma as a temptation tool started early with Satan against God’s creation. Adam faced a dilemma when Eve offered the forbidden fruit to him. Of course, Satan started the series of events that brought Adam to his dilemma. Should he affirm her by taking the fruit and disobey God, or obey God and reject Eve? We all know what he did. He used his flesh instincts to guide him and, as result, he took the fruit and ate of it, rather than being Eve’s spiritual protector and refusing it. As a result, he lost his opportunity to intercede for her, because he himself joined with her in disobeying God. Had he stayed strong, I would not doubt that God would have been so delighted in him, that He would have granted his intercessory prayer to forgive Eve for her disobedience. Satan’s plan would have been thwarted and Paradise retained. Instead, Adam obeyed his instincts rather than God, and Paradise was lost for both of them, including you and me ...and Satan laughed.

So the question is, what should a Man of God do when he is faced with a dilemma, knowing that one of his decisions will be the wrong one? Maybe we can learn by determining what Adam should have done. Since Adam used his flesh instincts to make his fateful decision and an “instinct action” requires an immediate reaction, doesn’t it make sense that he should have said, “Hold that thought, Eve. I love you and I trust you, but I need to be walked through this. Let me seek God’s counsel first!” If he had done this instead of reacting, don’t you think God would have been faithful to walk Adam through the dilemma with which Satan had tempted him? The outcome would have been different, and the decision coming out of godly counsel would have rendered a blessing with a lasting legacy, rather than a curse and its lingering effects. Do you have a dilemma going on? If so, this devotional may be God’s way of saying, "Seek Me first for My counsel before you react and make the wrong choice.”

My wife and I had a serious dilemma this past week. Her part of the dilemma preceded mine by about four weeks. Our dilemmas were created by an inappropriate physical affection forced on her by a golf course maintenance worker, as she walked in the early morning hours on the course. Her dilemma created mine when she told me about it. She had been having this walking routine for three years, for she loves to walk and pray after her morning QT. The worker had offered benign friendship overtures during the past two years, as they only spoke a greeting to each other. He seemed extra friendly, but not dangerously so, and she had no fear of him. As she looks back now, she can see that he might have had illusions about his friendship with her. She saw him as a friendly worker who became a little annoying as he drove up to speak to her in his maintenance vehicle, mainly because it interrupted her walk and prayer time. We now see this man as someone who likely was isolated and lonely and simply needed friendship. This is a typical formula to create in his mind that she was a better friend to him than she was in real life. Therefore, when he aggressively greeted her with a hug and a kiss on her cheek after not seeing her for a while, he made an inappropriate contact with her and frightened her. Whether his intentions were good or bad, because of his inappropriate behavior, he was placed into a category of "very bad people" in our minds. We questioned if we were dealing with a predator that was fixated on my wife and wondered what must be done about it.

Now if you know me personally, you know that there is an aspect of my life that God has had to work with me to overcome, or at least cage. I call this insidious “trigger” in my life The Panther. I was raised in a time, place and way that my self-esteem was really wounded as a pre-teen. My way of compensation was in athletics, as I felt better about myself because of my success in athletics. Baseball was my first love, as my father played and coached the game. I was his protégé. However, as I grew older and into high school, I needed another prop, for the insults began from the typical group alliances. Call it gangs or high school fraternities; the affect is the same as these groups focus on kids with self-esteem issues, and they are relentless with their abuse. Many of the abused kids couldn’t do anything about the insults they received in and out of the classroom and had to get by the best they could. However, I found a way to fight these insults, and this is where The Panther was birthed. Baseball was too tranquil for The Panther, and as a result, I was led to football. When I went into that arena, The Panther was unleashed with a fury, and he found a place to express himself. He became my friend, as he helped me violently release my anger and frustration. Because of him, I became a star player. The success it brought me made me feel better about myself. There was no more abuse, for the bullies were now afraid of me. An attitude developed that “I might not be liked, but I would be respected.” This attitude carried with me into my older adult years and became a civilized beast within me. However, there was always the potential that he would erupt in fury, if he was triggered. I have shared many times that The Panther hindered my path to intimacy with Christ, and God has worked overtime in my life to undo the self-perceptions that created the beast within me. There has been a struggle to let go of it, for The Panther became intertwined with my flesh nature. Little wonder that my wife waited several weeks to share the affection that was forced on her. She agonized in prayer for herself and for me for weeks, as she prepared the way to tell me. She was frightened by the man and needed desperately to talk to me about it. However, she didn’t want The Panther to come out in me and take me into a violent course of action, for she knows the kid who grew into the man and that if I followed my old instincts, I could make some bad decisions. She was in a dilemma. Rather than acting like Adam who made a decision using his flesh instincts, my wife did what Adam should have done…she asked God to help her. She took the time to seek God’s intercession before she told me, even though she walked in fear.

When she told me about the encounter, you can imagine the thoughts that went through my head. “This is my wife, my beloved wife of 41 years, that had been assaulted by a smelly fat man on a Toro Lawn Mower. I must “man-up” and allow The Panther out of his cage to do his work! Surely I am justified? Surely any man would act the same? Surely I have the skill and talent that was forged in my early life to defend and punish this Predator? What kind of husband would I be if I let him get away with this? What kind of man would I be?” But there were other thoughts that came to me as well: “This is a trap, walk wisely around it. Do not be lured into this, for the damages could be broad and long-lasting. There are things that you do not see and know about this man and the situation. Seek Me and I will guide you through this.” Now, I was in my own dilemma, for my flesh cried out for revenge and action, but my inner man cried, “ALARM! – ALARM!! – ALARM!!!” Which voice would I follow, for a decision would have to be made? A dilemma requires a decision, right? But does it need to be made immediately? Does it require that I live by a code that developed from a wound that I have long since dismissed as my guide? Should I react with these instincts, or should I learn from Adam’s mistake with his dilemma, and seek God’s advice first?

I went to bed with a decision to arise and confront the man with his supervisor and see what came from their reaction. If The Panther came out, it would be a deserved reaction. However, before I went to bed, I knelt on my knees and asked God to redirect me if there was another course of action to take. About 3:00 AM, I was awakened with a thought to divert from the path I had planned. I felt I was to first speak to the Human Resource Director of this man’s company. As I look back on this and see the interruption that occurred early that morning, I see the hand of God all over it. Not only did we come into contact with a godly, sensitive man who listened and dealt wisely with the situation, I was also given a man who will likely become a good friend. Since I did not know the culprit with whom we were dealing nor did the HR Director, he would become my eyes and ears to understand the man and assess the situation.

But there was another surprise that greeted me during that early morning interruption. I came to understand why God may have allowed the dilemma to invade our life. Maybe Satan meant harm me by tempting me to go into the fray using The Panther. However, God had a plan to do something else, if I would allow Him to walk us through it.

It had been a fitful night’s sleep, as thoughts of violence invaded my sleep. I saw myself physically and legally extracting revenge on the man who had frightened my wife and created this situation. It was different from the past, though. At one time, I felt pleasure in fighting back and overcoming bullies or adversaries. This time I did not feel the same justification and satisfaction with what I was doing and the action I was taking. Rather, I felt sick with myself that I would hurt someone, and I didn’t want to become a vengeful, angry man who settled things with violence, whether it was legal or not. I didn’t like these dream thoughts that were going on that night. So, I did what I often do. I got out of bed, went outside and looked into God’s glorious sky and prayed. I asked: “Lord, what is going on here? Why do I have these images and sick feeling going on within me? Why is this happening?” Of course, I wanted an answer and was surprised by what I got. I now see that I needed to understand the transformation that has happened in my life. I didn’t know that God’s revelation was using the dilemma to help me see what He wanted me to understand about myself and the man I have become. Spoken quietly to my heart He said to me:

“My child, how does it make you feel to extract revenge on another person with violence, even though it is justified?”

I answered, “Lord, at one time I felt good about myself and that it was appropriate. But it now makes me sick to think of doing it.”

“Do you know why?” He asked.

“No, Lord, I am confused,” I answered. “I thought that this is who I am and for this reason, I fear letting The Panther loose.”

“It is because you are no longer the man that once was. You are no longer the wounded child who has to stand up for himself and his loved ones, for you now have Me to do that for you. You are no longer the man who feels justified and vindicated with reprisal because your pride tells you to react. You are now a man who is a man after My own heart. You are no longer that child who grew into a man who has to fight his way through life. You are no longer obligated to react with your old nature. You are disturbed by these thoughts, for The Panther in you is dead. You are not the same man that you once were, and that image of yourself is free to die. Let it die, and do not allow the enemy to make you think that your old way of doing things is a justified reaction. The reason you are in conflict is because it has been revealed to you that you can never be that old man again. You know this in your heart, for you are a man after My own heart. Satan will never be able to appeal to your old instincts, if you will bury them tonight. It is time to bury them and this is their funeral night.”

That night, under the stars, I buried the remaining vestiges of the old man and his panther, and allowed the image of the new man God has created to be unleashed. I went to bed with the blessed assurance that my Sovereign King has a plan for my wife and me, and that we are “smack dab” in the middle of it. The choice to make for our dilemma was answered with the wisdom God gave to us, for we sought it rather than to use our instincts. True to God’s caution, there was more to the man than we understood. Instead of an evil predator, he is a gentle, simple man with special needs. His special needs and processing of relationships likely created an imaginary friend in my wife and caused him to act inappropriately, but not with evil or harmful intentions. This episode will redirect him with his job and will hopefully allow him to find a work that will bless him and others. Maybe it will save him from a serious problem with someone else. When confronted by the HR Director, this man’s greatest regret was the harm it caused my wife and me, for he never intended that. When the situation was finally processed and ended, I received the following email from the HR Director:

“I also want to express my appreciation for the mature and Christ-like spirit with which you have approached this situation. I’m sorry the situation developed as it did, but am pleased to have gotten to know you. You have been a wonderful witness through it all. May God bless you both in the days ahead.”

You know what, men? There is no way the “old man and his Panther” would ever have gotten a blessing such as this from the HR Director. But the new man in Christ did because the new man let His King guide him though his dilemma rather than his old instincts. So, if you are facing a dilemma in your life right now, remember your King will walk you through it if you will seek His wisdom and intervention instead of using your instincts. Sure, you will have to make a decision, for dilemmas require it. But, you will make the right one if God directs your path. Let Him direct your path.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 NEV