Relationships That Flourish: A 30-Day Devotional on Finding Security in Christ and Growing Healthy ConnectionsNäide

Today, we read a short but powerful part of one of Jesus’ most famous sermons. His illustration of a tree and its fruit points us to an important truth: what comes out of us reflects what is inside of us. Our words are not random—they flow from our hearts. When our heart is full of anger, insecurity, or resentment, those things will surface in the way we speak to or about others. However, when our heart is focused on finding our security in Christ, that will be evident in how we use our words.

This reminds us that our communication problems aren’t only about words or tone; they reveal something deeper. Jesus shows us that if we want our communication to change, our hearts should change. That is not something we can do on our own. Only God, through His Spirit, can make our hearts new so that our words bear good fruit.

We all have different communication styles that influence how we use our words. Some of us tend to communicate more aggressively. Others lean passive. Some swing between the two. Noting how we are prone to communicate and exploring with God what is in our hearts that makes that style most natural for us is an excellent step in growing in communication. Developing a practice of pausing before we speak (specifically in conflict or sensitive conversations) allows us to discern the intention behind the words we choose. Do we want our words to encourage others and push them to grow? Or do we use our words to manipulate, to shame, or to hurt those who have hurt us? We have all been there, and we can likely all affirm that even if we feel satisfaction for a moment, using our words to harm hurts both the receiver of our words and ourselves. When we struggle to communicate our feelings and needs to others, let us practice reflecting on what is in our hearts. What is the need or desire we genuinely want to express, and how can we do that with pure intentions?

Here is the good news: when we fail in this (and we will), we are not cast aside. God forgives, restores, and patiently reshapes our hearts to look more like His. The more we remain rooted in Him, the more our words become life-giving fruit for those around us.

Reflect: What is my natural communication style? Where might I need God’s Spirit to reshape my heart so that my words produce good fruit?

Pray: Lord, you know my heart and the struggles I face in communication. Change me from the inside out. Fill me with Your Spirit so that my words overflow with love, truth, and grace.