Testimonies of Pastors' KidsNäide

By Skarleth Jordan, Iglesia Cristiana Ebenezer De Azusa

Growing up, I always knew I was different. As a child, I experienced traumatic events that led me into a deep battle with anxiety. Over time, I came to believe this was simply who I was: Skarleth, the anxious girl—the one who had panic attacks. I was afraid to exist, afraid to take up space, because I didn’t believe I was worthy of it.

I saw everyone else as more important, more capable, and more valuable than I was. So, when I grew older and a boy treated me like I didn’t matter—like I wasn’t worthy of love and could easily be replaced—I believed him. In truth, he only confirmed the story I had been telling myself for years. I thought if I was quieter, prettier, and easier to love, then maybe—just maybe—I’d finally feel like enough.

But God never asked me to shrink. He was calling me to come home.

I share this message of love today because there was a time when I believed I could never love myself. I remember asking God to show me what it felt like to be loved by Him, because I didn’t understand the concept of love, not self-love, and not even love in general. But our merciful God took the time to show me. Sometimes it looked like waking up to flowers left by my car. Other times, it was strangers complimenting me when I was so used to going unnoticed, feeling invisible. As He revealed His love, He began to heal parts of me I didn’t even realize were broken.

Today, I can say with confidence that I am no longer bound by anxious thoughts or the weight of my past. I am a new person—not because of what I did, but because of what God showed me.

The way you were treated was never a reflection of your worth. The choices others made were theirs alone. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t deserve the pain, and it had nothing to do with who you are. Don’t confuse someone else’s brokenness with your value.

In the Bible, we often hear about Jacob and Rachel’s love, but we overlook Leah—the woman who was rejected and unloved. Leah tried to earn love through her actions, hoping Jacob would notice her. But being unloved by man didn’t mean she wasn’t chosen by God.

If you’ve ever felt like love is something you have to work for, this is for you: love isn’t something you earn—it’s something you were created to receive. You are already worthy. You are already enough, simply because God says so.

Maybe you weren’t chosen by the people you longed for, but you have been handpicked by the God who created the universe. Your story isn’t over. Your pain has a purpose. And God, who keeps record of every tear, is still writing your story.

Healing does not mean becoming the best version of yourself—it means allowing the worst version of yourself to be loved by Christ.

Prayer:

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for seeing us when the world makes us feel unseen, and for loving us when we believe we are unworthy of love. Thank You for calling us not to shrink, but to come home to You. Today, I release the lies I once believed about my worth and embrace the truth that I am chosen, cherished, and enough in Your eyes.

Heal the places in me that are still broken. Fill every empty space with Your love. Help me walk boldly in the freedom You’ve given me, not defined by my past but by Your grace. May my story be a testimony of Your mercy and a light to others who feel unseen, reminding them they are deeply loved and never forgotten by You.

In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.