Thriving in God’s FamilyNäide

Naïve or Vulnerable?

Communities and groups are imperfect because their members are imperfect. When trust has been broken, especially by a leader, it’s easy to feel we’ve been deceived. Sometimes we try to see the best in other people, only to realize their intentions were selfish or even sinister. Other times, what we thought was a mutual relationship turned into a one-sided commitment on our part. And when our own needs surfaced, no one was there to help.

Yesterday, we talked about Jesus’ instructions to His newly recruited disciples—they were to preach, heal the sick, and give freely. But He also passed along some wisdom about how to approach their work: “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be as wary as serpents, and as innocent as doves” (Matt. 10:16 NASB).

This is a posture we often have to take when joining a group or starting a new job. In fact, it’s sometimes a posture we have to maintain for years in hostile or unsafe environments. Until we know who (if anyone) can be trusted, it’s important to be careful.

In most relationships and groups we’re part of, we grow more comfortable being ourselves over time. We find people we can trust. We begin to share more. We admit our weaknesses and failures. We become transparent. However, even though we might have waited a healthy amount of time to be open, it’s still possible that others will use and mistreat us—even people we trust.

There will always be some risk in choosing to be vulnerable—revealing our delights and joys, needs and hurts, and even our secrets. But there’s also the potential to deepen our relationships and to develop the kind of true community that God designed us to experience. Knowing when and how to cross into that territory takes wisdom. Helping others do this takes patience and love.

Our past experiences often affect how vulnerable we’re able to be with others. If we’ve had good experiences being open and honest, then we may be ready to share again more quickly. If we’ve been betrayed, it may take time to heal and learn to trust again. Thankfully, we have a loving Savior who deals gently with those who’ve been mistreated.

Reflect:

In your relationships, what does it look like to practice Jesus’ advice from Matthew 10:16?

Have you ever felt taken advantage of by a group or its leader? Are you currently in a group where you are hesitant, or even afraid, to be yourself? Take some time to express your feelings in writing to the Lord. If you need help processing a hurt or betrayal, find a trusted friend, pastor, or counselor.

In Romans 16:17-20, what circumstances does Paul seem to be addressing? How is his message here similar to what Jesus told the disciples in Matthew 10:16?