Connecting With the Heart of Your ChildNäide

Even though attachment is very important to a baby's overall health, attachment was not the focus of any baby book I read as a new mom. My takeaway from the baby care books was not the great need to develop a secure attachment with my children, but instead the importance of developmental milestones.

I can still recall the stress I had over the fact that my healthy baby boy could not roll over from his stomach to his back. He was "supposed" to do it by four months old, which came and went. Still not happening at five months, six months, seven months, eight months, this new mom was getting more stressed that there was something deficient in my son’s development.

My husband finally brought much-needed humor to my unnecessary anxiety about his development by stating, "I guess when he is an adult he will fall on his stomach and simply not be capable of rolling over to his back. He will be helpless." After a lot of laughter, I realized my stress was completely manufactured by a milestone list in a baby book.

I wish every baby book would address how essential it is for moms to develop a secure attachment to their baby! In my opinion, this is the most important thing that needs to happen in your child's first, second, third, fourth, and fifth years of life!

The foundation you lay through secure attachment matters more than any developmental timeline or achievement chart.

Reflection Question: How can you prioritize building secure attachment with your child above other cultural pressures and developmental expectations?