Chasing False Needs Versus Resting in RealityNäide

God’s Job / Our Job

The Big 5 represents the broad categories of our false needs as well as the core characteristics of God. When we attempt to shoulder these God-sized qualities, we experience chronic anxiety. But there is one more aspect to the Big 5—each false need has a healthy, human-sized equivalent. God has wired each of us with unique gifts, talents, and abilities to contribute to His kingdom. Those who struggle with control often excel at hospitality and are attentive to detail. Perfectionists have a knack for improvement. Those who feel they must always have the answer can be gifted teachers. Approval seekers are kind and courteous, and the people who feel they must always be there for others are caring and thoughtful.

The problem is that we take our God-given gifts and twist them into an unattainable false need. ‘Improvement’ can easily slip into ‘perfection’ if we are not cautious. Those gifted in hospitality who think through every detail to ensure people feel welcome are wired by God to create memorable experiences, but when they sit and worry if people are having fun, they have crossed into control. When we operate within our gifts, we feel energized and make meaningful contributions to the Kingdom, but when we pursue exaggerated extremes, we’re chasing the God-sized versions of our human-sized gifts, and that leads straight to anxiety.

The amazing thing is that we can relax into God’s presence every day by giving ourselves permission to be exactly human-sized. This doesn’t mean that we become apathetic to the suffering around us. When a human-sized human and a God-sized God engage in a broken and evil world, we have a greater capacity to do difficult things because we are actively joining God in His work—not striving to do it on our own.

Every day, we will face the temptation to “be like God”—to chase a false need fueled by our own efforts. But we no longer have to rely on our own strength. We do not have to be more than God made us to be. We can stay connected with God, allowing His power to work in and through us. The more we accept our humanity, the more we see the wonder of His power and presence.

When we attempt to be like God, we will inevitably fall short. However, by focusing on dying to self and remembering that God has woven our lives into the righteousness of Christ, we can find peace. It’s God's job to be God; our job is to follow Jesus, surrender ourselves to Him, and worship God. When we get clear on this division of labor, we can see that His yoke is truly easy, and His burden is light.

What is the human-sized equivalent that fits your wiring and gifting?

Consider a situation that you’re anxious about. What is God’s part to carry? What is your part to carry?

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