10 Steps to Unity in Your Blended FamilyNäide

Step 9: Don't overreach your expectations.

What expectations are you bringing into your new blended family? We all have expectations. We picture a scenario in our heads: the greatest spouse, well-behaved children, supportive extended family relationships, and a positive co-parenting experience. But what if that’s not reality? With God, all things are possible, and these dreams may come to pass, but some may take more time to develop than others. We need to understand that our new family is exactly that– new. Therefore, putting expectations on relationships that have not developed and trust that has not been established is a recipe for disappointment, friction, and discord. We like to call it "death by expectation."

If we are not careful, we can hinder our relationships with our blended family by placing expectations on each other. Instead, we need to be patient and prayerful in our attitudes and actions. We can remember that our thoughts and ways are not the Lord's thoughts and ways. His are higher and better than ours. He is working in our blended families, but it might look different than we had imagined. When we can turn our expectations over to the Lord and surrender our ways to Him, we give Him the freedom to work in and through us to bring forth blessings in our relationships. His outcome is better than any expectation we may have had.

Prayer: Father, thank You for loving us as we are. Reveal the false expectations we have created in our hearts and minds. We ask for Your forgiveness as we lay those now at the feet of Jesus. Let us not expect too much or too little from our spouse or blended family members. Help us see and appreciate them for who they are, not what we want them to be. May we model our lives after Christ, who loved without conditions or demands. Amen.