Relationships

Right now, on a scale of one to ten, how does your relationship with your husband feel? This reading plan won't raise your rating overnight. But over thirty days, it might! Your man will be encouraged, and you'll be challenged. 

For best results: don't tell him you're starting this. Just read the Word, and follow the plan :-).  

Revive Our Hearts has offered this challenge to tens of thousands of women across the world, and the resulting testimonies of love, renewal, revival, and even marriage rescue have been AMAZING. Perhaps yours will be next!

The Husband Encouragement Challenge

Marriage brings two lives into close daily proximity, making conflict inevitable. This marriage-focused 7-day devotional draws on principles explored more fully in the You Owe Us Your Greatest Marriage workbook, inviting couples to see conflict not as a threat, but as a tool for refinement and growth. Through Scripture, reflection, and prayer, couples learn how honest engagement, Spirit-led responses, and intentional repair strengthen intimacy and trust.

Iron Sharpens Iron - Conflict That Refines

Seasons of hiding can feel confusing, lonely, and discouraging, especially for Christian singles who desire clarity, movement, or partnership. Yet the Book of Esther reveals a powerful truth: obscurity can be God’s strategy, not His neglect. This 7-day devotional invites you to explore what it means to be hidden yet deeply known, unseen yet divinely remembered. Through Esther’s journey, you will discover how God uses quiet seasons to protect identity, refine character, and prepare you for future responsibility.

Hidden but Not Forgotten

Do your words build up or tear down? Hi, I’m Roell Morales. I invite you to join me on this 7-day journey where I will speak from the heart about how the Bible teaches us to tame our tongues. Together, we will discover how to transform the way we speak, heal our hearts, and use our words to bless, build up, and glorify God.

The Power of the Tongue: Words That Give Life

How much is too much information? This devotional was made to guide singles and couples in courtship to share past experiences with honesty, embrace God’s redemption, and respond with grace, building relationships rooted in truth and trust.

Truth Before the Ring

Becoming like Christ is not vague or mystical—it is a Spirit-led formation with clear dimensions. This 7-day plan walks you through the three major compartments of true spiritual maturity: the nature of Christ (love expressed as fruit), the mind of Christ (divine wisdom that builds), and the works of Christ (power that restores and advances God’s kingdom). Many believers lean into one dimension and ignore the others, but Scripture reveals that Christ is best revealed in balance and order.

Metamorphosis (The FULLNESS of CHRIST)

If you are single and feeling emotionally overwhelmed, this 7-day devotional will guide you toward healing and wholeness. 

Many struggles, fear of abandonment, overthinking, emotional shutdown, and anxious attachment can be rooted in unresolved emotional wounds. 

Through Scripture, reflection, and prayer, you will learn how God meets you in your brokenness and restores your heart. 

Each day offers biblical truth and practical steps to help you process emotions, renew your mind, and build secure, Christ-centered patterns.

The Single’s Guide to Emotional Healing

This series explores God’s beautiful design for love, passion, and marriage. God did not leave us to figure romance out on our own—He gave us an entire book of the Bible to guide us. In this plan, you will discover biblical wisdom for building lasting, Christ-centered love. This study is especially helpful for those preparing for marriage, newly married couples, and anyone seeking to rekindle passion in their relationship. Due to the mature marriage themes in Song of Solomon, this plan is intended for adults who desire deeper insight into God’s heart for love and covenant commitment.

Song of Solomon: Love, Romance, and Drama! The Steamy Romance of Solomon and the Shulammite Woman.

Seasons of famine test more than our patience, they test what we truly believe about God. In the Book of Ruth, famine is not just a backdrop; it is the environment where faith is refined, obedience is tested, and redemption quietly begins. This 5-day plan is designed for Christian singles navigating seasons of emotional, relational, spiritual, or circumstantial lack. You will learn how famine does not cancel promise, how obedience still matters when resources feel scarce, and how God often uses lack to redirect, refine, and prepare you for restoration.

Faith in Famine

How do you rebuild trust when you feel your marriage is wrecked? When an ongoing affair devastated Tony and Lymari Navarro’s marriage, it seemed as if all hope had been lost. In this 7-day devotional, read how, amid the ruins of the life they had built, they found renewal was possible—through godly counseling, biblical truths, and hard-fought steps back toward each other. 

From Ruin to Renewal: A 7-Day Marriage Devotional for Those Rebuilding Trust

If you love someone battling addiction or alcoholism, then you know this fight isn’t just their fight — it becomes yours too. You feel the fear, the uncertainty, the hope, the disappointment, the exhaustion, and the constant guessing game of what might happen next. And you cling to your faith to get through it all.

Faith Stronger Than Addiction is a seven-day journey to help you lift your eyes, pick up your spiritual armor, and hold fast to the God who fights for you.

Faith Stronger Than Addiction

Every relationship begins with excitement. The butterflies, the constant conversations, and the emotional highs are beautiful and God-given. But butterflies were never meant to sustain love. This 3-day plan is for anyone in courtship, engaged, or married who wants a healthy, lasting relationship. You will learn how to move from feelings to foundation, building love on character, communication, forgiveness, and Christ-centred values. Beyond butterflies is not the end of love; it is the beginning of mature, intentional, and enduring love.

Beyond Butterflies

God created marriage as a precious covenant of love, faithfulness, and unity. It is not just a relationship between two people, but a reflection of God’s love for us and the unity He intends in Christ. May these four meditations help you grow in humility, awareness, and intentionality in your marriage—because we truly are better together.

Marriage - God's Plan

Many couples face significant challenges in their marriages, from emotional detachment to infidelity, leaving one partner feeling abandoned and desperate for connection. When only one spouse seems invested in the healing process, it can feel overwhelming and hopeless. Dr. James C. Dobson offers hope and guidance for those struggling through marital difficulties in a five-day series based on his book, Love Must Be Tough. He provides practical strategies to encourage restoration even when your partner is disinterested.

Love Must Be Tough

Marriage is a gift from God, but thriving together requires intention, love, and wisdom. This plan explores the relationships of biblical couples, some thriving, some struggling, and draws practical lessons for your own marriage. Each day highlights God-centered principles like trust, communication, forgiveness, and intimacy, with actionable steps to strengthen your connection and grow closer to each other and to Christ.

God Centered Marriages: Lessons From Biblical Couples

This 7-day devotional guides couples in transforming everyday conversations into moments of connection and growth. Through Scripture, reflection, and prayer, spouses learn to listen deeply, speak with grace, validate each other’s feelings, and navigate disagreements with humility and love. Each day provides practical guidance, discussion questions, and prayers to strengthen emotional and spiritual intimacy, helping marriages thrive in unity and trust.

Bridges of the Heart: Transforming Marriage Through Communication

Do you feel like your marriage is lacking strength? Ecclesiastes 4:12 says that "a cord of three strands is not quickly broken." In this 5-day plan, we will dive deep into God's original design for marriage. Discover the biblical context of becoming "one flesh" and how inviting Jesus Christ to be the center of your relationship builds an unbreakable unity. 

A Cord of Three Strands: Foundations of Marriage

Marriage is one of God’s greatest gifts, and preparing for it is one of the wisest decisions you can make. This plan will help you build a strong, Christ-centered foundation; one marked by love, humility, and purpose. Don’t wait until marriage to grow. Start now, and let God shape the relationship that will shape your future.

Preparing for Marriage

Ladies, have you ever tried to forgive your partner… only to feel more confused, more guilty, or even more trapped? You love God. You want to walk in grace. But somewhere along the way, you may have been told that forgiveness means trusting again, staying quiet, or giving endless chances. And when your heart hesitates, you wonder if you’re the problem. In this plan, we’ll uncover the subtle lies about forgiveness that keep women stuck — and rediscover a biblical path that brings clarity, strength, and freedom without losing yourself.

When Forgiveness Feel Like a Trap: Lies About Forgiveness That Keep Women Stuck

True intimacy begins long before physical connection. Scripture reveals it grows through honesty, friendship, spiritual depth, and healthy boundaries, a foundation that protects purity and prepares the heart for covenant.
For Christian singles, building non-sexual intimacy is one of the most vital relational skills you can develop. It shapes how you date, how you discern, and how you love.
Through Scripture, reflection, and prayer, this plan equips you to connect meaningfully without compromise, pursuing relationships that are emotionally healthy, spiritually grounded, and Christ-honoring in every season of your journey.

Building Non-Sexual Intimacy

If you’re expecting a baby, first of all, I would like to say congratulations! Preparing to welcome a child into your life is such an exciting, but at times, a difficult and nerve-wracking thing! Over the course of the next five days, I would love to guide you through some thoughts using Scripture and also give you some ideas for how you can raise your child in accordance with God’s eternal Word.

Expectant Parents | Preparing Your Lives and Hearts to Nurture God’s Precious Gifts

The Book of Esther reveals a powerful truth for every single believer: God is always working behind the scenes, even when He seems silent. This 7-day plan is designed for Christian singles navigating seasons of waiting, obscurity, preparation, and unanswered questions. Through Esther’s journey, you’ll discover how God uses hidden seasons to shape identity, build courage, and prepare you for divine positioning. This plan will help you discern timing, surrender control, overcome fear, and trust God’s process. This devotional invites you to see your single season as purposeful preparation for “such a time as this.”

... For Such a Time as This

Catch the Butterflies Again is a 10-day journey for anyone who wants their marriage to feel more connected, more intentional, and more alive.

Whether your relationship is in a sweet season, a stretching season, or simply in need of a refresh, this plan will help you strengthen what’s working and rebuild what’s been neglected. You’ll focus on habits that bring love closer, the mindset that protects connection, and the faith that keeps your marriage rooted.

Each day includes 2–3 Scriptures, a devotional, a reflection question, an action step, and a prayer.

Catch the Butterflies Again

This devotional is designed for couples seeking to heal and strengthen key areas of their marriage and uncover hidden treasures within their relationship. Through thoughtful reflection, guided conversations, and intentional practices, couples will be encouraged to grow closer, deepen their understanding of one another, and build a foundation rooted in God, love, trust, and purpose. 

Making the Most of Your Marriage; a 7-Day Healing Journey

The Marriage Talks is the ideal plan for couples or small groups who want to understand what the Bible says about marriage as they grow their relationship together. Part 2 focuses on two marriage essentials: love and respect. Listen together as Kris Langham guides you through key Bible passages, and discuss together the differences between his and her love languages and respect languages. Great for groups or marital/premarital counseling.

The Marriage Talks Part 2 | Love & Respect

Marriage

Lust is more than temptation; it is a battle of the heart and mind. In a culture saturated with sexual imagery and instant gratification, many believers struggle silently with shame, desire, and confusion. This 7-day Bible plan offers hope, clarity, and practical steps toward freedom.

Through Scripture, reflection, and prayer, you’ll learn how to renew your mind, guard your heart, resist temptation, and cultivate Spirit-led self-control. Freedom is possible, not through willpower alone, but through transformation in Christ.

Overcoming Lust

Healing after a broken church courtship—finding clarity, dignity, and hope in God again.

Healing From Broken Courtship Relationship

In this Bible plan, psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Doug Weiss uses teachings from his book Finding Mr. Right to help you ask the deeper questions that reveal whether the man you’re dating is truly the man you should marry. In this plan you will learn how to look beyond words and emotions to evaluate character, maturity, honesty, and readiness for marriage. You will be encouraged to seek God’s wisdom and trust what is revealed as you discern the qualities you want in your future life partner.  

How Do I Know He's the One?

Virtues are about our character and our personality. When we walk into a room, what energy and culture comes with us? How do we show up with others and for others? In this study well explore both the why, the what, and the how of the masculine virtues: humility, discipline, responsibility and chivalry. 

4 Virtues of Authentic Masculinity by Seth Troutt

Your husband carries many responsibilities—leading, working, providing, and walking in faith. But he was never meant to carry them alone. As his wife, one of your greatest callings is to cover him in prayer. This 5-day devotional will equip you to pray specifically and powerfully for your husband’s heart, mind, work, relationships, and spiritual life. Each day includes Scripture, encouragement, a focused prayer, and a simple challenge to put faith into action.

Praying for Your Husband: Covering Your Husband in Faith & Power

Do you believe you’re worthy of a love that respects and cherishes you? Too often, we settle for less than we deserve, forgetting our immense value. In this 5-day devotional, we’re sharing practical insights and biblical truths to help you build self-worth, set healthy boundaries, and pursue relationships that honor who you are in Christ. 

The Love You Deserve: How to Value Yourself in Dating

A thriving marriage doesn’t happen by chance—it takes intention. In this 7-day plan, Pastor Ed Young share biblical wisdom and practical steps to help you build deeper love, strengthen communication, and experience lasting connection. Whether you’re newly married or years in, discover how God’s design can transform your relationship and ignite lasting intimacy.

Ignite Your Marriage: 7 Days to Deeper Love & Lasting Connection

Waiting can feel confusing, lonely, and intense especially when you desire marriage, companionship, or waiting in line for your next season. But the waiting room is not punishment; it’s preparation. One of the strongest lessons God teaches us in the wait is that He is always in the details of our lives and no matter how long the wait is, God is more interested in who you become in the wait.  
In this 7-day plan, you’ll learn how to grow in intimacy with God, and become ready for what God is building in your future.

Finding God in the Waiting Room

These 30 days of devotions will encourage you to find your security in Christ as you let Him transform you and your relationships! This plan is written by Chelsea Neal, Director of Personal Client Advocacy at Avail-- a non-profit organization that exists to empower confident decisions and foster futures of hope for those facing unintended pregnancy, past and present.

Relationships That Flourish: A 30-Day Devotional on Finding Security in Christ and Growing Healthy Connections

Tired of dating from a place of need? Stop the cycle of heartbreak by getting your heart right first.

This 21-day spiritual boot camp, led by Pastor Simon Richardson III and Olaolu Ogunyemi (U.S. Marine, Parent-Child-Connect), moves you from neediness to wholeness.

You will master self-leadership, heal past wounds, and set clear boundaries before commitment. 

Each day includes a devotional, a Daily Detox Action, Reflection Questions, and a Prayer.

Stop waiting for a partner to complete you. Start becoming whole.

BEFORE YOU CUFF: The 21-Day Pre-Relationship Detox

If you’re tired of carrying the weight of trying to change the man you love, this plan is for you. Over the next five days, you’ll finally discover how to move from fix and control to surrender and prayer. Experience the peace that comes from learning how to trust God with your partner’s future.

Pray for Him - From Fixing to Praying

Waiting can be one of the hardest seasons of life, especially when prayers seem unanswered. This 5-day plan is designed to help you trust God’s timing without losing faith, or hope.
Through this plan, you’ll learn how to wait well and rest in God’s process. Instead of rushing outcomes or attaching deadlines to God’s promises, this plan invites you to anchor your heart in His wisdom, faithfulness, and perfect timing.
Whether you’re waiting for clarity, healing, or the fulfillment of a promise, this plan will help you cultivate peace, strengthen trust, and stay aligned with God while you wait.



Wait Well: Trusting God's Timing

Loss can leave you questioning your future, your faith, and your place in God’s plan. Using the story of Ruth, this 5-day plan walks Christian singles through seasons of grief, disappointment, and emotional loss with honesty and hope. Rather than rushing healing, this plan invites you to process pain in God’s presence and discover how redemption unfolds slowly, faithfully, and intentionally. You’ll learn how God rewrites stories that feel broken, restores what was lost, and brings purpose out of pain. If you’re carrying unresolved grief or mourning unmet expectations, this plan will help you heal and trust God again.

When God Rewrites Your Story

Do not be paralyzed, in those areas where you need specific information, when God does not and will not give you specific information. He has already given you the general principles on which you should base your decisions. In an increasingly secular world, we definitely need to hold on to the truth that is found in God’s Word. 

How To Know The Lord’s Will

Are you currently engaged and preparing for your big day? Amidst all the wedding planning, don't forget to plan for your marriage. In this 7-Day devotional, Kenady acts as your unofficial matron of honor as she “gives” you 7 bridal items that symbolize 7 key principles to help prepare you for life beyond your wedding day. Let the preparation begin!

The Preparation: 7-Day Devotional for the Soon-to-Be Wife

Why get married when you can cohabit? This plan shows how marriage is different from cohabitation by showing the theological roots of marriage. As we reflect on the biblical concept of covenant, we will see what is so valuable about marriage. Invest in your marriage and learn wisdom for relationships from the scriptures.

Why Marriage | Covenant: The Heart of Commitment

This five-day study provides insights and practical tips for believers as they seek to honor God in their relationships. 

Relationship Goals: A Study on Healthy Christian Dating

Relationships shape our lives deeply, yet many people enter them guided by lies rather than truth. This plan exposes common relationship lies that damage hearts, marriages, and destinies, and replaces them with God’s wisdom. Are you single, dating, engaged, or married? These seven days will help you pause, discern wisely, walk in purity, and build relationships rooted in truth and honour. You will learn how to recognise red flags early, value commitment over emotion, and trust God’s design for love. Here is an invitation to choose truth, walk in wisdom, and experience love the way God intended.

Love, Lust, and Lies

Dating

Divorce is heartbreaking. This 5-day plan gives you space to process divorce, whether your own or a loved one’s. Drawing on Scripture and her own experience as a divorcee, Vaneetha Risner gently guides you through sharing your heartbreak with God honestly as you lament, grieve, and bring him your feelings and needs.

Lamenting Divorce: 5 Days of Getting Honest With God

Narcissistic and manipulative people can cause deep confusion and harm, leaving many unsure how to respond. In this devotional, you will explore how Scripture helps us recognize destructive patterns, set wise boundaries, and guard our hearts. Learn how to live with both compassion and discernment when dealing with narcissistic people.

Navigating Narcissistic People

The evil one wants your marriage to fail. He accomplished just that with me in 2015, and it’s becoming more apparent than ever that his sole goal is to steal, kill, and destroy everything that God designed as good. I’m done being a victim, and it’s time to go on the offense. How about you?

I'm Just a Guy: Fighting for My Marriage

A Christian devotional for single moms offering healing, encouragement, and hope for single mothers walking through heartbreak and finding wholeness in Christ.

Hope and Healing for Single Moms

Feeling distant or helpless in your marriage?  This 5-day devotional will help you silence the lies, refocus your heart, and see your husband the way God sees him. There is still hope.

Struggling With Loving the Man You Married

Marriage goes through storms—big and small. The question is not whether they will come, but what your home is built on. 
This plan is about love that is based not only on feelings, but on the covenant, grace, and obedience to Christ. It is about a marriage that is not perfect, but alive. It is about love that learns to forgive, guard the heart, draw strength from the Gospel, and trust God every day. 

If you want to build a relationship that can withstand everything, this plan is for you.


Despite Everything

What’s the secret to living “happily ever after”? A good marriage isn’t going to just happen; it requires some give and take…and a willingness to let God direct you all along the way. In this 5-day study, Joyce shares biblical principles and lessons from her and Dave’s more than 54 years of marriage to help you cultivate a greater relationship than you ever thought possible. 
 


Keys to a Stronger Marriage

What do we do when our dreams seem out of reach or even shattered? Having overcome abuse and trauma, as well as the heartbreak of a divorce, I have been faced with this question again and again. Whether you’re experiencing the devastation of tragedy or loss, or the frustration of a long season of waiting, the God-dream for your life is still alive! Friend, it’s time to dream again.

Dreams Redeemed

“My life is nothing like I thought it would be.” Many of us feel this way in times of transition. Sometimes we need a boost of encouragement to embrace change, take a chance on our dreams, and realize that we are not alone. If you’re facing a new season of life, this devotional will help you realize that no matter what, God’s got you.

God's Got You

Your purpose and destiny are so close to being fulfilled! God is about to open up major doors in your life, and He wants to bring the right relationships and connections to you, but He needs to make room in your life for them. In this 10-day reading plan, Pastor Mike Signorelli of V1 Church, explains why and how God is removing people from your life.

Why God Removes People

What happens when the life you prayed for shatters? This four-day devotional is for women walking through the heartbreak of separation or divorce from a spouse who battles addiction. With the word Redeem as a lifeline, you’ll be reminded that God is still at work. He’s restoring your identity, your peace, and your future. He’s not just healing you. He’s redeeming you.

REDEEM: A Journey of Healing Through Divorce and Addiction

Is it unchristian to set a boundary or sometimes have to say a necessary goodbye? Lysa TerKeurst has asked these questions. But after countless hours of counseling intensives and theological research, Lysa is more committed than ever to loving people without losing the best of who she is. She wants to help you begin to do the same through this 5-day devotional.

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes

Are you struggling to overcome anger, loss, and shame after your divorce? Do you feel stuck and uncertain about how to reclaim your life?

This 6-day devotional is designed specifically for you. Each day, you'll discover practical steps, powerful strategies, and transformative tools to help you walk in freedom after divorce .

Freedom After Divorce  - Reclaim Your Life

Blending a Family 40-day Devotional written by Moe and Paige Becnel at Blending a Family Ministry is a resource for remarried families. The Becnel’s married in 1989 with 5 children, and were quickly overwhelmed with many issues exclusive to blended families. The plan discusses the cause of the issues many families face, and provides solutions found in God’s Word that fuel family growth. God is for you!

Blending a Family 40 Day Devotional

This 7-Day Devotional Plan serves as a compassionate and faith-based resource for those navigating life after divorce. With its daily readings, prayers, and reflections, this devotional offers guidance and support to individuals looking to heal, find hope, and live purposefully.


Unyoked Living: Living a Life on Mission Post Divorce

In this devotional, I want to share how God has been faithful to me through my faithfulness to Him. I want to inspire women who feel like they've lost God's promise. I pray this devotional restores hope and faith in God to the many women whose faith has been snatched by rejection, low self-esteem, divorce, and other misfortunes. - Christina Bell

God Is Still Faithful - 7-Day Devotional by Christina Bell 

In recent years, divorce in Christian marriages is more commonplace than ever before. One of the most diabolical attacks on marriage is unfaithfulness and adultery. In this 12-day reading plan, we discuss some of the root causes of infidelity and offer practical tips for men to help pick up the broken pieces and begin the journey of healing and restoration in their marriage.

Broken Pieces: Repairing the Damage of Infidelity

Are you on the edge of the abyss, hopeless because you ruined God's plan for your life? If you know you are 100% guilty, grieving over your condition, and perhaps asking: Is there a second chance for me and my finances, my family, or my faith? You should know that God has heard your cry, and He has another opportunity for you.

Another Chance!

This reading plan by Tracie Miles takes a deep dive into understanding and overcoming the emotional toll divorce, separation, and the loss of a serious long-term relationship has on a woman’s well-being. Tracie Miles leads women on a powerful, life-changing journey that provides much-needed hope, encouragement, and practical guidance for living their best life even if it’s not the life they once imagined. 

Living Unbroken: Reclaiming Your Life and Heart After Divorce

A 5 day devotional series breaking down the heart behind Danny Gokey's brand new album, "Haven't Seen It Yet". Each day focuses on a new topic that surrounds one of the tracks on the album. Every devotional is written by Danny himself and ends with a confession/prayer to reflect. 

Haven't Seen It Yet: A 5 Day Devotional Series

Ladies, everywhere we turn love songs and movies tell us to follow our heart. If that was such good advice, then why does love often hurt so much? The pain and confusion caused by emotional abuse, deceit, manipulation and control can be traumatizing. If you’ve suffered in destructive relationships, God longs to heal your heart. This plan will help you understand healthy ways to confront abuse and restore your confidence.

When Love Turns Toxic: Finding Freedom From Emotional Abuse

When life is hard and negative thoughts creep in, you can feel like you’re sinking under the weight. Unsinkable Faith helps you embrace God’s truth and provides practical tools to help you transform the way you think, feel, and live regardless of your circumstances.

Unsinkable Faith

The day you marry, you never consider that the life you’re building could be destroyed. The ruins left are a reminder of what you’ve been through. God uses everything for your good. He intends to rebuild your broken places. Over the next six days, you’ll find God’s restoring H.O.P.E. after divorce. You’ll be encouraged, validated, yet challenged to seek healing while God does the hard work of rebuilding ruins.

Rebuilding Ruins: Restoring H.O.P. E. After Divorce a 6-Day Devotional by Kelly A. Foster

Vanessa Torres offers compassionate guidance rooted in faith to support and empower survivors on their journey of restoration. 

Strength in Brokenness: Reflections for Assisting Others With Traumatic Pasts

Divorce

Parenting Young Children

Parenting Teens/Tweens

Shaunti Feldhahn studied thousands of men and women to learn the most important things that matter to an abundant, happy marriage. It turns out, her research findings match what the Bible has said all along. This reading plan highlights those key Biblical secrets that we often miss — and which, once we apply them, usually make an immediate, wonderful difference.

See more of her research, books, or speaking at shaunti.com.

Biblical Secrets to a Happy Marriage

Life is a series of choices, each determining the trajectory it will take.  Will we choose life, by allowing our hearts to be changed by God's Word? Or will we default to our human nature, a passive choice leading to death?  