Biblical Marriageنموونە

Love Binds All

One of the hardest seasons in our marriage came through parenting. My wife Shannon entered our marriage knowing that my children would also become her “bonus children.” What I didn’t recognize at first was how heavy that responsibility felt for her. She loved them deeply, but often wrestled with the tension of feeling like she had no authority to guide them.

When she first brought this up, my natural reaction was to defend myself and my parenting. But I realized I needed to stop, step back, and truly listen. Instead of immediately responding, I chose to put myself in her shoes. What would it feel like to love children as your own, but not feel like you had the voice to help shape them? That shift in perspective gave me empathy.

Once I understood her heart, we were able to have an honest conversation about what partnership in parenting could look like. Together, we worked out a plan that honored her role, respected my children, and gave us unity in how we guided them. That moment taught me something powerful: disagreements don’t have to divide us. They can actually draw us closer if love leads the way.

Love doesn’t mean there won’t be tension. Love doesn’t mean we’ll always see eye to eye. But love does mean we fight for each other, not against each other. It means choosing empathy over pride, forgiveness over offense, and unity over division.

Paul wrote, “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity” (Colossians 3:14 NIV). Without love, even good intentions unravel. But with love at the center, even the hardest conversations can become stepping stones toward deeper trust and stronger partnership.

Based on Colossians 3:14 (NIV), "Love binds all" means that love acts as the supreme virtue that binds and perfects all other Christian virtues, creating unity and harmony within the community of believers.

Here's a breakdown of the meaning:

● Love as the "bond of perfection": Paul instructs believers to put on several virtues like compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, but concludes with love as the ultimate virtue that binds these together. It's seen as the "connective tissue" or "glue" that holds everything in Christian fellowship together in perfect harmony.

● Agape Love: The Greek word for "love" in this verse is agapē, which signifies God's unconditional and self-giving love. This love is not based on the worthiness of the one loved, but on the nature of the one who loves. It's a love that gives without expecting anything in return and fosters the Fruits of the Spirit.

● Unifying and Harmonizing Power: Love, in this context, is the unifying principle that controls and creates solidarity within the church. It allows believers, despite their differences, to work together, fostering peace, reconciliation, and cooperation.

Examples of failing at biblical love

1. Holding grudges and refusing to forgive: Choosing not to forgive poisons our hearts and hinders the love we have to give, preventing reconciliation and unity.
2. Being critical and judgmental towards fellow Christians: If we lack love for each other, it hinders our ability to be effective witnesses for Christ. We are called to disagree lovingly, without becoming disagreeable.
3. Acting with selfishness and disregarding the needs of others: This can manifest in various ways, such as keeping to exclusive social circles within the church and holding outsiders at arm's length. Neglecting the needs of others in the community harms not only those neglected but also the entire body of Christ.
4. Prioritizing personal agendas and gossip over unity: Instead of building each other up, these actions sow discord and break down relationships within the church.
5. Failing to show compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience: These virtues are meant to be worn like garments, and when they are absent, love cannot fully flourish and bind believers together.

Ultimately, failing at biblical love as described in Colossians 3:14 means falling short of the ideal of Christian unity and harmony, hindering the positive impact that believers can have on each other and on the world.

Reflection:

Love is the glue that binds marriages together. It creates harmony when disagreements arise and fosters peace in daily life.

Application:

How can you choose love first in moments of conflict?