10-Day Marriage Seriesنموونە

Day 10: When Communication Is a Problem

"We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you." (2 Corinthians 6:11)

Every knowledgeable marriage counselor knows that the inability or unwillingness of husbands to reveal their feelings to their wives is one of the most common complaints of women.

Research shows that little girls are blessed with greater linguistic ability than little boys; it remains a lifelong talent. As an adult, she is typically far better at expressing her thoughts and feelings. God may have given her 50,000 words per day and her husband only 25,000. He comes home with 24,994 used up and he disappears into Monday Night Football; she is dying to expend her remaining 25,000 words and find out what he's thinking, what happened at the office, and, especially, how he feels about her. This difference between him and her—a function of their inherited temperaments—is one of countless ways they are unique.

When communication is a problem, compromise is in order. The clammed-up husband must press himself to open his heart and share his deeper feelings. The frustrated wife must recognize that her man may not be capable of the emotional intimacy she seeks. They must work to fix what can be improved—and accept the rest.

Questions for Today . . .

• In your relationship, is it true that the wife speaks twice as many words each day as her husband?
• Have your communicative differences created problems between you and your spouse? What hinders good communication in your marriage?
• How can you improve in sharing your feelings?

Prayer . . .

Lord, help me to celebrate our differences as husband and wife while tenderly helping each other make the most of our marriage with every word we speak. Amen.

(Excerpted from Dr. James and Shirley Dobson’s book, Night Light for Couples. Used with permission.)

It’s natural to have conflicts in marriage, but how you handle those disagreements can make all the difference in the health of your relationship.

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• Can happily married couples live together without arguing?
• What underlying issues can lead to marital discord?
• Are our differences resolved or still lingering beneath the surface?

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