Overcoming Shameنموونە

Day 4: From Shame to Holy Regret

There’s an often-undiscovered crossroads in the soul—a place every heart comes to eventually. One path is familiar, worn down by hiding and pretending. The other is less traveled, but it leads to healing. This is the intersection between shame and holy regret.

Shame will do everything it can to keep you from that second path. It urges you to turn left or right, to look back, to run in any direction except forward. It whispers: Clench your jaw. Keep quiet. Act like it never happened. But here’s the thing about wounds—they don’t just disappear. And the lies attached to them? They echo.

So, you find yourself at the crossroads again, carrying a wound and its message. What if, this time, you didn’t run? What if you stopped, looked forward, and saw God, and invited Him into that moment with you? What if, together, you faced shame and walked upstream—toward its source?

That’s the invitation: not just to manage shame’s symptoms, but to follow its trail back to the places where it first crept in in order to go forward with God. To ask, "Where did this begin? How is this still shaping me?"

Recently, a close friend shared a powerful story. He had begun digitizing old VHS and 8MM family videos—tapes from nearly 30 years ago. Watching his younger self, his wife, and his son in those early days brought a surprising wave of emotion. He told me that for much of his adult life, he had believed he was a bad husband, a bad father, and just not a good man.

But as he watched those videos, something shifted. Though he had spent years recognizing and repenting for harmful behavior, he had never really felt compassion for his younger self—only regret. But this time, something was different. As he watched, with God, grace came too. God gently reached back through time and touched those moments, those memories, redeeming them—not by excusing the pain, but by offering compassion and reframing.

In his words: “That moment felt like holy ground.”

That’s what holy regret does. It doesn’t erase the truth or deny the damage. It allows us to see what happened and then walk with God through it. Shame says, "That was who you are." But holy regret, paired with grace, says, "That’s not your whole story."

There’s a sacred tenderness in that process. It’s healing—not by pretending the pain didn’t matter, but by bringing the pain to the One who does. It’s handing over the scene to Jesus and letting Him speak into it.

It takes courage to let God revisit those moments with you—trauma, failure, rejection. Some of those memories live deep in the body. They show up in your stomach, your shoulders, your nervous system, long before your heart or head can even name them. That’s why this kind of healing isn’t meant to be walked alone. God may send wise counselors, trusted friends, or trained guides to walk beside you.

And it takes grace—not just undeserved kindness, or some unmerited favor, but the empowering presence of God. Grace is more than pardon; it’s power. It’s God-with-you, in the middle of the wound, transforming what was broken and setting your heart free. Grace sees the younger you, the hurting you, the hiding you—and doesn’t flinch. It embraces you. And it brings the power to move forward.

Grace doesn’t minimize the past. It doesn’t pretend everything is fine. It meets you there and gently says, "Yes, that happened. But that’s not the end. Let Me show you what I see. Let Me show you who you really are."

What if today you took a step toward that kind of healing?

What if you paused, just long enough to remember—and then invited God into that very space in your story? What if regret could become holy ground? What if shame could be exchanged for a settled heart?

You don’t have to walk it alone. There are others—guides, brothers, sisters—who are walking it too. And more importantly, God is with you. He isn’t ashamed of your story. He’s proud to be your Redeemer. And He’s ready to meet you at the crossroads—not to scold or shame you—but to take your hand, walk you forward, and heal what shame has tried to hide.

You are not your past.
You are not the wound.
You are loved.
You are being healed.
And your story isn’t over.

As you reflect with God today, consider asking him:

Father, would you show me the places in my story where I’ve been hidden by shame? What moments do you want to gently uncover and hold with me today?

Jesus, how do you see the part of me that still carries regret? Will you walk with me into that memory and speak truth over the lies I believed?

Holy Spirit, where are you inviting me to receive grace that empowers, not just forgives? Will you teach me how to re-see my past and reclaim moments I wish didn't happen? Would you move me forward with a holy regret by going with me to places I have tried to hide from you? Would you lead me into deeper freedom?