FIRSTنموونە

Parenting by the Book

By Lexa Brecheen

“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33

As parents, there is very little we can call our own. Our time is not our own—“Mommy I need you to come here!” Our sleep is not our own—“Mom, are you awake?” Our food is not our own—“Can I have a bite of that?” The demands of parenting require us to sacrifice our possessions, our dreams, and yes, even our relationships. When it comes to raising children, we have to choose to die to ourselves every day. Even as I sit here writing, my 18-month-old daughter has just ground a half-eaten plum into the carpet with her dainty (and now slimy) foot and is tracking it across the floor.

My husband, Marcus, and I have hundreds of books on our bookshelves, and one of our most-used books is Parenting Isn’t For Cowards by James Dobson. The very title points to the enormous tasks and numerous trials we as parents encounter daily, and time and time again this book has brought us great comfort. But as great of a resource as this book has been to Marcus and me, nothing compares to the wisdom, encouragement, and instruction we receive from “The Book”—God’s Word.

In John 12:24–25 (msg), Jesus said, “Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal.” Although you may not see it now, the sacrifices you make day in and day out are like tiny seeds that will one day produce great fruit. Learn to look past the dirty diapers to the lives your little ones will reach for God’s glory. Look beyond the hours spent carpooling towards the faith in God they will inspire in others. Look over the horizon and catch a glimpse of how their actions will influence eternity. Whenever it feels difficult, tell the Holy Spirit, “I can’t do one minute of this day without You. I need You to come in, and I need You to take over. Put me behind Your cross, Lord Jesus, and let me be You to my children.”

I am convinced that during all the things you do each day with your children—whether it’s boring, burdensome, or brimming with hope—you have a choice to make. Will you choose to allow Jesus to birth something beautiful in you, or will you choose to just exist for another 24 hours and start over again tomorrow?

In his book, The Influence of a Father, Tom Lane says, “The first work of God in your life is to guide you to discover your uniqueness in Him. Therefore, your first responsibility as a parent is to help your children find their significance.” Don’t settle for just being an occasional companion to your children; become one of their most trusted advisers and closest friends. Walk by their sides through every season and stage of life. Take the time to influence and mold your child’s heart for eternity—share secrets, make life decisions together, discuss spiritual lessons learned, and show them God’s power in everything so that He becomes real and alive to them. Then rejoice in what God is doing in both them and in you.

It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can’t tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.

~ Joyce Maynard

Memory Verse

But without faith, it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Hebrews 11:6