I'm Just a Guy: Who Feels Aloneنموونە

Created for Brotherhood

After high school, my core group of friends slowly drifted apart.

Over the next two decades, I poured myself into many important areas of life—building a successful career, getting married, and becoming a father. These responsibilities naturally took center stage. But after walking through the pain of a divorce and the heartbreak of losing a child, I came face-to-face with a sobering truth: something significant was missing.

When I looked around, I realized I had no true brothers in Christ to walk through these dark valleys with. Sure, I had plenty of “bank hour” friends—guys who were happy to chat or even help out, as long as it didn’t disrupt their routines. But when I really reflected, I saw that deep, meaningful relationships with other men were completely absent from my life.

Even within my church’s men’s group, everything felt so surface-level. When conversations started veering into deeper, more vulnerable territory—the kind that leads to real growth—most men would retreat. I began to ask myself why that was, and the answer was painfully clear: we’re all wired with an undeniable tendency toward self-preservation. To truly love others—to listen, understand, and support—takes energy. And for most guys, the juice just doesn’t feel worth the squeeze.

I used to believe that surface-level friendships were enough. After all, who has time to invest in something deeper? But Scripture challenged that thinking. Eventually, I had to stop making excuses and face the gaping hole in my life. I knew it needed to be filled—not with more distractions, but with real brotherhood.

That brought me to a scarier, yet essential question: How do I build genuine relationships like that?
And then, as if God spoke directly to my heart, a simple but powerful truth surfaced:
“First, be that man for someone else.”

From that moment on, my prayers changed. I began asking God to show me the men around me who were hurting, who felt alone, and who needed someone to walk beside them. And sure enough, they started showing up. I quickly discovered they were longing for the same connection I had been missing. From those humble beginnings, things started to shift.

That discovery process played a huge role in the birth of The Lion Within Us. I’m convinced the enemy despises it when brothers in Christ lock arms and stand together against his lies and schemes.

If you’re in a season where you feel isolated—don’t panic. Instead, start praying. Ask God to reveal the men around you who need someone to stand in the gap. Begin serving them with intention and love. When your focus shifts from internal lack to outward service, everything begins to move. Brotherhood isn’t found—it’s built.

Reflection Questions:

1. Who are the men in your life who truly know what you’re carrying?
2. Which excuses prevent investing in meaningful relationships most often?