The Better Friendنموونە

GROWING FRIENDSHIPS

No one really tells you it’s up to you to create community. I quickly realized this after I moved to Atlanta by myself and spent my first weekend alone. One evening I looked around at my shoebox apartment and realized I was lonely. And I was the one who needed to do something about it.

We so easily believe the myth that feeling lonely is bad. It’s true that the enemy can use loneliness to distract us and make us feel isolated. But loneliness can also be a signal from God that we need community. Loneliness reminds us that community is a primary need and that when we desire deep relationships, we are reflecting God’s image. See, something beautiful about God is that as an eternal, perfect being, He is utterly alone, separate, and holy and, at the same time, wholly and joyfully in relationship within the Trinity. God is satisfied and complete both alone and in His triune relationship—yet He yearns for our hearts.

In Genesis 2:18, God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” God created us and knew we needed good relationships, so He gave us the joyful opportunity to cultivate community. And God can use loneliness to remind us that He’s made us for more connection.

I used to feel weird for trying hard to be people’s friend, but then I realized other people are lonely too. Now I never hesitate to ask the new girl at Pilates to lunch or invite friends over for dinner on a random Tuesday. You will never be fully known if you don’t first know yourself enough to admit you’re lonely and do something about it.

Pray for your community and pray for the eagerness to cre­ate it. Pray for patience in friendships and unexpected hellos when you boldly step out. Even if it doesn’t work out and you don’t meet a best friend while putting yourself out there, it’s good to try. God sees your efforts and will tend to your needs when you seek to grow friendships the way He created them. Try­ing shows your desire for deeper friendship, which points to Christ at work in you. And God promises us, “he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6).

In what ways has loneliness prompted you to seek out deeper relationships?