Truth & Family:

Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4

Empowering women made the West stronger than other civilisations. The French sociologist, Alexis de Tocqueville, and the Indian social reformer, Keshab Chandra Sen, realised that the force that liberated Western women was the rule that one man can have only one wife and that he must love her exclusively and permanently. This is called, ‘Monogamy.’ Sen saw that polygamy, that is, a man having multiple wives, devalued women and weakened children.

Monogamy gave Western women unique power over their husbands and children. It made women physically, intellectually, socially, and morally strong. They, in turn, nurtured strong children, strong men, strong communities, and strong nations.

Monogamy was based on the Bible’s teaching that God had made only one woman, Eve, for the first man, Adam. Marriage is a sacred institution because it is invented by God. It requires a man and a woman to surrender their relationship to God. That surrender makes sex sacred and honourable. Breaking marriage vows, made before God, is sin.

Polygamy made women weak. It prevented the wife from asking her husband to stop gambling or smoking pot with his friends and instead to haul water from the river to their home. Or better, to educate and organise the community to get the village council to vote to build a system that ensures 24-hour water supply. For a husband would see such a wife as difficult. He would love the second wife who hauls the water on her head. Or, he may prefer to spend the evenings with a Devadasi (Temple mistress).

Monogamy required a man to work in order to take care of his family. It didn’t allow a man to stop loving a wife just because she asks him to be more responsible for the family and community.

Such demands did not make a husband weak or henpecked but instead encouraged him to become meek, creative and industrious. They inspired him to devise solutions like making a wheelbarrow to haul water, or to get water pumped into his home, kitchen garden, dairy, and factory. This view of marriage freed enslaved women from the drudgery of hauling water on their heads.

Faithful, monogamous marriages enabled a husband and a wife to nurture disciplined children, making the family an economic unit that contributes to a developing society. Maintaining monogamy is tough. It requires a spirituality that puts love above lust, submission as the secret of happiness, meekness as the source of glory, and service as the path to power.

Challenge Question:

The cultural elite of our post-Christian era are confused about marriage. How can you shed God’s light upon this foundational issue of man-woman relationship, marriage and family?

Related Scriptures:

● “Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” (Genesis 2: 22-24)

● “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” (1 Peter 3:7)

● “The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:3)

● “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the Lord.” (Proverbs 18:22)