Seasons Of Divorce Volume 1: Seasons Of Loss And Sorrow

Day 7 of 7 • This day’s reading

This troubling verse can hit too close to home, to our nearest and dearest. Children, during their parents’ divorce, are in a precarious position. If both parents put their children’s interest first, they can make things less difficult. More often than not, parents are divorcing because they disagree on many of life’s issues, including how to raise the children. Some adult children of divorce tell me that only when they were adults with children did they really begin to understand. I know of parents offering the child support to their children as a bribe for the kids to move with them. I have seen kids treading carefully to negotiate their way through the swamp of parents’ emotions. I have seen children literally shaking in their boots as a parent rages at them, releasing all the anger of the divorce upon them. Children are used as spies in mommy's or daddy’s house, foolishly playing along to please the parent. Some children use the system to get their way, threatening to move out; parents feel virtually powerless to discipline the child. Some children’s minds get so poisoned and twisted that they refuse to see or speak to one parent, sometimes for decades.

How are you doing with your children? It is very hard. I remember the freedom I felt: when I wanted to do something nice for my kids, I could. I was the only adult in the house. One moment, the kids think you’re wonderful, the next, you are the worst person on earth. Things come out of their mouths that break your heart. What can you do? You can pray. If you can work out your problems to make an honest fresh start for the marriage, that is certainly best. But too often couples reunite with no change in the unhealthy patterns that led to divorce. If reconciliation is not your situation, remember your children. They are not the adults with the problems. They did not create the divorce. They desperately need to know they are loved, regardless of where they live or how they feel about the other parent. You cannot fix their broken little hearts…prayer is so essential. God can do what you cannot. I made mistakes, as will you, but I always tried to make choices with the children’s best interest at heart. God bless you, as you minister to your children in a difficult time.