When Grace Becomes Real: Receiving What You Keep ResistingSample

It's way easier to talk about grace than to practice it.

I sat down in a counselor's office with my wife several years ago. We'd been meeting for a few sessions, but something about this day felt different. When my wife opened up a notebook, I got scared. The longer her introduction went, the more nervous I became.

That day, she shared things that broke my heart to hear. She shared about my blind spots. I had said and done things I didn't remember, or didn't recognize as hurtful. When the person who matters to you more than anybody else on earth sits across from you, sharing how you've hurt them deeply, it can break your heart.

I began to feel waves of guilt, shame, regret, and remorse. Later, when I was really struggling with what she'd shared, my wife said something profound: "I know this is fresh for you, but I've been processing it for a while. I'm at a place where I can genuinely say I forgive you. I give you grace."

I responded with something like: "I know you've offered me grace, but I'm struggling to embrace it myself." Though I had preached about grace for many years as a pastor, that day taught me there's a big difference between talking about grace and experiencing grace.

Can you relate? Is it hard for you to give yourself grace? Do you struggle with embracing the grace that other people have given you?

Perhaps you don't do well with actually experiencing and embracing the grace of God. You may sing about it. You agree with it intellectually. But when it comes to practically living it out, grace makes you uncomfortable.

Many of us understand grace in the context of our salvation. We know God has forgiven everything in our past. However, we don't experience grace as the ongoing reality in our lives. We accept grace covering our past for salvation, but we don't live with grace being the air we breathe or the water we swim in today.

Here’s my definition of grace: “unconditional love given to an undeserving person by an unobligated giver.”

If you have to satisfy conditions, it's not grace.

If somebody has to earn it, it's not grace anymore.

If someone is making you give grace, it's no longer grace.

If grace hasn't become real in your daily life because it's still a mental or doctrinal concept in your head about God, then you’re in the right place!

Because when grace shifts from a concept about God to an experience with God, grace becomes real.

That shift from concept to experience will change your life. It will change your relationships. It will change the way you see yourself. But it's not easy. Many of us hang out in the gap between concept and experience.

Tomorrow, we'll explore the most tragic response to God's grace and why it doesn't have to be your story.